Black Friday Violence Fantasy League Rules

Black Friday Violence Fantasy League Rules

Are you tired of thinking, “Sure, I am as amused as anyone when it comes to hearing about fights or stampedes on Black Friday, but I just wish I could somehow make money from them.”? I used to be as well, and then I started my all-new (not just partially new) Black Friday Violence Fantasy League where you are rewarded for your predictive acumen about where, when, which store and what type of mayhem will occur on Black Friday.

So once you round up some friends, you all predict three specific scenarios, a la the board game Clue. You will see all your choices below, and you’ll use one from each category (Store, geographic region, type of mayhem, time of day). You are also allowed to use any of your choices as many times as you want. If you think there will be more than one stabbing at Wal-Mart in the Southeast, you can pick those choices all three times. However, in order to get points for all three of your selections, three separate incidents would have to occur; you can’t double or triple-dip.

As an example, here would be how a player would select.

Prediction 1: Wal-Mart, Southeast, Trampling, Friday 6:01 am- 10:00 am

Prediction 2: Wal-Mart, Southwest, fist fight, Friday 2:01-6:00 am

Prediction 3: Best Buy, California, gun, Friday 6:01-am – 10:00 am

Then Friday morning/afternoon after awakening from your turkey and Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Drinking Game coma you check the news to see who shall be awarded points, total them up and declare your winner.


smart car

Your choices and point values are below:



Totally ripped off from:

This is the official map for the regions.

Southeast: 3
West: 3
Southwest: 4
Northeast: 5
Midwest: 6
California only: 5
Florida only: 6
Texas only: 6


Type of Mayhem

Trample/stampede: 3

Property Damage (e.g. someone knocks down a display, drives car into Wal-Mart): 4

Fist fight (i.e. no weapons): 5

Knife or some kind of shankin’: 8

Gun: 7

Employee harmed (e.g. faints, knocked to the ground, trampled upon): 20

Mace/pepper spray: 25

Biting: 30

Fire/arson: 30

Cane: 60

Frozen Turkey 80

Rascal Scooter: 80


Time of Infraction (local time)

Thursday, 6:00 pm-10:00 pm: 10

Thursday, 10:01 pm- Friday, 2:00 am: 8

Friday, 2:01 am- 6:00 am: 4

Friday 6:01 am – 10:00 am: 5

Friday 10:01 am- 2:00 pm: 8

On After Friday 2:00 pm: 10



Wal-Mart: 2
K-Mart: 5
Best Buy: 6
hh gregg: 8
Radio Shack: 35
Target: 8
Macy’s: 20
Lowe’s: 20
Toys R Us: 8
Bass Pro Shops: 12 (If you pick this you basically have to also pick “gun” for Type of Mayhem)
Sports Authority: 20
Dick’s: 20
Modell’s: 20
Meijer: 30
Staples: 50
Walgreens 25
Rite Aid: 40
CVS: 40
Dollar General: 35
Family Dollar: 35
Sam’s Club: 45
Costco: 45
BJ’s: 45
Menards: 45
Michael’s: 50
Jo-Anne Fabrics: 50
To read a very funny, but NSFW tweet about Michael’s and Jo-Anne Fabrics click here
Pep Boys: 50
AC Moore: 50
Tractor Supply Co.: 40
Kohl’s: 25
Sears: 25
JCPenney: 25
Bon Ton: 50
Old Navy: 25

If you thought that list was too long, it’s because too many stores are open on Black Friday.

 Have a Happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful you read my blog.




Leave a comment