5 Characteristics of a Chicago Music Snob

5 Characteristics of a Chicago Music Snob

After Lollapalooza, but pre- North Coast, it seems appropriate to poke fun at our music snob friends.  We all have a few… and they just get music on a different level than the rest of us do.  They would explain, but you still wouldn’t get it.  Sorry.

How do you identify which of your Chicago friends is a music snob?  Listen for smug statements that resemble the following….

5. “Lincoln Hall is the Best Venue:”  Everyone loves Lincoln Hall, but music snobs really, really love Lincoln Hall because it has the “best sound quality.”  I have no idea what that means.  And neither do music snobs because, last time I checked, most music snobs aren’t sound engineers.  But it sure makes you sound like you know a lot about concert venues.

Side Note: Music snobs will also tell you that “Congress is the worst concert venue.”  I kinda liked Congress Theater because it let me know what it would be like to see a concert in Gotham City.

4.  “Pitchfork is the only festival that hasn’t sold out:”  Pitchfork is so progressive that next year’s headliners haven’t even formed their band yet.  It’s also a great place to go hear music snobs and hipsters (usually one in the same) lie about how well they know the bands that are playing.

3.  “Ear Plugs are a must:”  “If you went to as many concerts as me, you would have to take the same health precautions.  Sorry, I just go to so many concerts.”

2.  “Afters:” Festivals to music snobs are just a pregame for the after shows.  And that after show is probably at Lincoln Hall.  You know, because the sound is so good.

1.  “Headliners are the worst:” “I’m here to see St. Lucia at 3:15 PM, I couldn’t care less about Mumford.”  Ironically, this same person said the same thing about Mumford in 2010.


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  • Hilarious! The best is the look on my music snob friends' faces when I tell them that I've never even been to Lincoln Hall. I too, loved the Congress.

  • I have always been a sucker for a Venn Diagram, probably on my list of top ten things I love in life.

  • How did we not get to talk at the blathering? You are hilarious.

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