After Lollapalooza, but pre- North Coast, it seems appropriate to poke fun at our music snob friends. We all have a few… and they just get music on a different level than the rest of us do. They would explain, but you still wouldn’t get it. Sorry.
How do you identify which of your Chicago friends is a music snob? Listen for smug statements that resemble the following….
5. “Lincoln Hall is the Best Venue:” Everyone loves Lincoln Hall, but music snobs really, really love Lincoln Hall because it has the “best sound quality.” I have no idea what that means. And neither do music snobs because, last time I checked, most music snobs aren’t sound engineers. But it sure makes you sound like you know a lot about concert venues.
Side Note: Music snobs will also tell you that “Congress is the worst concert venue.” I kinda liked Congress Theater because it let me know what it would be like to see a concert in Gotham City.
4. “Pitchfork is the only festival that hasn’t sold out:” Pitchfork is so progressive that next year’s headliners haven’t even formed their band yet. It’s also a great place to go hear music snobs and hipsters (usually one in the same) lie about how well they know the bands that are playing.
3. “Ear Plugs are a must:” “If you went to as many concerts as me, you would have to take the same health precautions. Sorry, I just go to so many concerts.”
2. “Afters:” Festivals to music snobs are just a pregame for the after shows. And that after show is probably at Lincoln Hall. You know, because the sound is so good.
1. “Headliners are the worst:” “I’m here to see St. Lucia at 3:15 PM, I couldn’t care less about Mumford.” Ironically, this same person said the same thing about Mumford in 2010.