July, 4th celebrates our Independence from England and we all know how we gained that independence- by kicking England’s ass. That’s the whole reason we actually celebrate Independence Day (e.g. fireworks, grilling, drinking) instead of merely observing it like we do Memorial Day (e.g. grilling, drinking) or Veteran’s Day (e.g. grilling, drinking) or Flag Day (drinking) or Arbor Day (drinking).
Not only do we as Americans posses this wonderful gift of freedom, but we acquired it victoriously, so of course we are going to celebrating our victory that we still appreciate everyday. But let’s not get caught up in celebrating our victory- let’s take some time to humiliate the loser!
Tags: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, America Fuck Yeah, America World Police, Animal Kingdom, Benny Hill, Eric Idle, Family Feud, Floyd Mayweather, Harry Keough, Hulk Hogan, I am a Real American, John Wayne, Mr. Bean, Mr. T., Pete Sampras, Ricky Hatton, Superman, Tim Henmna