Weekend News Recap

Weekend News Recap

Abandon all hope of agreeing, ye non-critical thinkers who enter.

– Dante (kind of)

1.The United States Learns a Very Special Lesson About Friendship

Edward Snowden became a political refugee when he told the world that the United States spied on it’s own citizens, Russia, China and most other countries. He fled to China-controlled Hong Kong to seek political asylum. But once the US began to pressure China to extradite him back to the US, China allowed him to fly to Russia, against the wishes of the United States. Now American leaders are trying to figure why the governments of nations they spy on won’t capitulate to their demands.

It sounds like a cheesey 1990’s sitcom where a 5th grade boy thinks he is the leader of his group of friends and acts like a condescending jerk to them whenever they play. Then one day he runs home crying to his mother after finding out that one of his friends had a birthday party and invited everybody but him. How could his friends do this to him? Didn’t they know what friendship means? Then after crying in his mother’s lap, he learns a very special lesson about friendship and how we attract bees with honey and not vinegar.

2. Paula Deen Drops N-bombs, Food Network Drops her.

I am so excited for this conversation to take place in 5-10 years:

Person 1: Do you remember that television cooking show hostess who had an accent, used so much butter that she gave herself diabetes, and then got canned for using the N-word?

Person 2: Wasn’t she southern?

Person 1: Yeah, you remember her?

Person 2: No, I just put the context clues together.


I love it when a stereotype comes together


3. Corporate News Show Feigns Objectivity, Fails.

On Sunday’s Meet the Press, host David Gregory asked a journalist from the Guardian, Glenn Greenwald, why he should NOT be arrested for aiding and abetting Edward Snowden. Such framing of the question strongly suggests Gregory’s stance on the issue, and by extension, that of NBC and their sponsors about Greenwald’s whistle-blowing.

What makes his claim groundless, unethical and so-corporatist-that-it’s-creepy is that, 1) Boeing’s subsidiary, Narus makes a lot of $$ selling the NSA it’s spying software, and, 2) Boeing sponsors Meet the Press, as you can read here- Boeing Exclusively Sponsors MSCNBC’s Meet the Press App.

Kinda creepy, right?


If there’s one kinda person I want to prosecute, it’s those who possess things illegally.

Usually NSA when someone defends the NSA, it reminds me of the last line of 1984, “He loved Big Brother.”. But in this case it’s, “David Gregory loved the money that he was paid by Big Brother’s private contractors.”. Now that’s dystopian.

4. Is it “Snitching” if you’re Stabbed in the Head?

A man in Lakeview was stabbed in the back of the head, but other details are hazy as the victim isn’t cooperating with police. In other words, a dude got stabbed who had it coming.

5. 15 People Were Shot overnight in Chicago, Several Fatally, over Snowden’s NSA Leaks. Just Kidding, you guys. It was Gang Violence Again.

There were 15 shootings in Chicago on Saturday night alone, the initial reports are that zero of them were based on Edward Snowden’s NSA leak. After some back-of-the-envelope math, here is the finally tally from Chicago, Guns: 15, Snowden: 0.

We are still waiting for politicians (and nationally broadcast corporate sycophants masquerading as journalists) and journalists to explain how these leaks have made us less safe.

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