Top 9 Ways 50 Cent's 'How to Rob' is Dated

Top 9 Ways 50 Cent's 'How to Rob' is Dated








If you are already familiar with this song you can just skip to the part starting below the youtube clip. Otherwise…

Before the masses learned of 50 Cent from his chart-topping uber-smash hit, In Da Club, he was on the  Billboard charts with the lesser-known-but-equally-great, How to Rob.  In it, an unheard-of 50 Cent brazenly raps about wanting to rob current hip hop stars- and names names-, and cleverly describing how he’d rob each.

It was released in New York in August of 1999- according to Wikipedia.  And as you’d expect, it’s outdated in a few instances. What’s funny about those  anachronisms is that they’re the only time this song doesn’t sound entirely contemporary. Here it is below with NSFW lyrics on screen:

As you probably noticed in the song, a few things sound out of place and they are for one of two reasons (or both, in Whitney Houston’s case): The hip-hop star mentioned is either no longer rich, or is dead.  Here are the 10 promised  examples mentioned as they appear in the song, coupled with their mention in the song.

 Whitney Houston: “I’m about to stick Bobby for some of that Whitney money”. Whitney died broke, and everyone knows Bobby already spent whatever he once had of it.

Brian McKnight I can get that nigga anytime”.  Brian McKnight was kinda recently on Celebrity Apprentice and was voted out the week after Khloe Kardashian was voted off. He finished 9th, beaten out by, among others: Jesse James, and both Melissa and Joan Rivers.

Do you think the photo director of this picture said, “I hate be rude and tell the fair-skinned Kardashian I don’t want her anywhere near the front. Maybe if I put those two black guys in the back and tell that her she can stand wherever she’d like, she’ll just go there on her own. I’ll just do that.”?

Old Dirty Bastard: I’d rob ODB but that’d be a waste of time. More like Old Dead Bastard.

Big Punisher AKA Big Pun: I’ll rob Pun without a gun snatch his piece then run/ This nigga weigh 400 pounds, how he gon catch me son?.  We later learned that Big Punisher  punished his arteries for too long and ultimately,  they punished him with death. Hey, does that count as a Big Pun?


Jermaine Dupri (J.D.): “Mad at you I’m robbin J.D., fuck you, pay me!!”. J.D. used to be crazy rich but recently his house was VERY nearly foreclosed on, and he  owed back child support payments, and back taxes as recently as of May 2011

Heavy D: Heavy tried to hide his shit, nigga try to stall ya/ He said “Why you robbin me I got Nuttin But Love  for ya!” Sadly,  he now puts the Heavy D in Heavy D-ceased.

Juvenile: “Caught Juvenile for his Cash Money piece/Told him I want it all he said, “Even my gold teeth?”. Juvenile once made us back that ass up and work it in slow motion, then there was a warrant issued for arrest for not paying child support payments for 5 years.

Mike Tyson: “Catch Tyson for half that cash like Robyn Givens”. He was so stinking rich that when he went broke, his financial woes were  financial “whoas” to me, if you will (and I don’t blame you if you won’t, frankly).

Ironically, 50 Cent’s ascent to riches crossed paths with Mike Tyson’s downfall from them, as 50 bought Mike Tyson’s impressive Connecticut estate in 2007.

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