With the recent and exciting news of our very own Jay “what the fuck you lookin’ at” Cutler getting engaged and knocking up the very hot reality star K-Cavs, I thought it would be nice for LTAM to honor their pregnancy with a look at the top current reality shows. (Disclaimer: This list only has reality shows and no talent shows – i.e. American Idol, X-Factor, Dancing With the Stars, etc.)
5. The Bachelor: The producers of The Bachelor make a deal with 20+ young, shallow and husbandless-crazed ladies: They will supply them with a shot at a good-looking, successful mate, relatively close in age, in exchange for them to compete as desperately as possible against each other for mere fractions of his attention. Predictably, these relationships are all destined for failure because two months after their made for TV engagement to a stranger, the victorious young lady has to watch her new fiancé make-out with 10+ ladies every Monday at 7pm central.
4. Real Housewives of Orange County: These ladies are like older versions of the ladies on The Bachelor who have already scored themselves their wealthy husband, and didn’t have the help of ABC to do it. However, they do need the help of Bravo to fulfill their insatiable crave for attention. This show is great because it shows us that wealthy people, no matter how much money they spend on plastic surgery, can also behave like trailer trash.
3. Bachelor Pad: The producers (geniuses) of The Bachelor and Bachelorette realized that the craziest of the crazy Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants were being elimated from the show before they could fully maximize their ratings potential. So what did the producers do? Create a show where they could throw them into a house together and watch as they attempt to fall in love and compete for a truckload of money. And the best part is to hear the contestants lie about which charities they are going to donate the money to.
2. Jersey Shore: The mere fact that your boss knows who Snooki, the Situation, and Pauly D are is all that needs to be said about the greatness of this show.
1. (Real World / Road Rules) The Challenge: The Challenge has become such a great show that the Real World has sorta become its minor league system: It’s merely used to figure out who is truly a reality star, and who simply duped MTV producers during a few interviews and their self-made 3-minute promo video. Additionally, The Challenge has taught us how awesome physical sports can be when they are governed by the same social laws of a junior high, and when we turn a blind eye to steroid and alcohol abuse.