On Monday the Huffington Post released a grainy video, and still frames of a captor of Moamer Gaddafi forcing an object (could be a stick, knife or end of a gun; no one is sure yet). into Gaddafi’s backside.
Tantalizingly, those teases over at the Huffington Post ran the headline, “Gaddafi sodomized? Video Shows Libayan Leader Attacked By Captors (WARNING: Graphic)”, which obviously makes the reader think, “Wait, there is footage on HuffPo of Gaddafi getting BF’d by some rebels??”. What they neglected to tell us was that it was just with a stick. So we were off to a fairly disappointing start, but it’s still great.
I wasn’t able to embed the video here, so you will have to click the above link to view it. Furthering the disappointment is that this video is way to grainy, and bouncy to be able to see anything. In fact, if it weren’t for the still pictures provided by the HuffPo, you’d never know he got sodomized. Well, the video isn’t 100% disappointing though….
1. Bounce Fabric Softener (owned by Procter and Gamble) bought commercial time before the video that allegedly shows a former dictator being sodomized. How is this not a bigger story??? A former dictator had a stick shoved up his ass and Bounce Fabric Softener said, “Ohhhh!! That’s our target demo!! Have marketing get HuffPo on the phone. I want in there! Look at me, I sound like a Libyan stick! Hi-OOO. But seriously get them on the phone.”.
- Ewwwuggh, they will do WHAT before they kill me?
2. How horrible must you be at your job in order for rebels to pull you out of hiding in a drain pipe to cram a stick up your bunger before they shoot you in the chest and head?
3. Is that stick going to be a symbol of Libyan Freedom? Will it go in the Libyan Smithsonian? Will the Libyan Supreme Court fashion it into a gavel? Will the above image appear on a Libyan postage stamp?
- Thanks to Frankie Muniz for making this picture appropriate for use on ChicagoNow
4. I never thought I’d live to see a picture of a former political leader that could top the picture above (of former Czech Republic PM Mirek Topolankek, photographed at an infamous Bunga Bunga party hosted by Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi), but I did. Much like how rock beats scissors, paper covers rock, and and scissors cut paper, a picture of a stick up Gaddafi’s balloon knot tops a mostly-aroused, nude, former Prime Minister of the Czech Republic. It just does.
5. I also really enjoying picturing a conversation between two old, Libyan men about 30 years into the future. They will argue about the tyranny and oppression under Gaddafi and how much they hated him. One man will argue that no one hated Gaddafi more than he did, and the other man will disagree and emphasize that he hated Gaddafi more than anyone else. Eventually the argument will be settled when the second guy says, “Yeah, but did you ever shove something up his ass? Dude, I was the guy that shoved the stick up his ass right before he died!!!”.
6. Some other headlines or captions I would’ve liked to have seen:
- Speak Softly and Carry a big Stick. Then Shove it up a Dictator’s Ass
- Mmmmmm, Gaddafi-sicle
- Ever Seen a Stick do Something Disgusting to a Human? Enter Moamer Gaddafi. (get it?)
- It’s Time I stick-up for the Libyan People!
- The Revolution Will be
- Gaddafi is so ugly the sodomizer was actually holding a microphone up to what he thought was Gaddafi’s mouth.
- From Dictator to Stick-Taker
- This is a Stick-Up (Your Sphinct)!
- Doesn’t he kinda walk like he has a stick up his ass?
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