I hate fantasy football. It takes football–a fun excuse to drink beer, eat junk food, and yell at the television–and turns it into some sort of competition. I hate fantasy football, which is why every year I say I’m not going to do it again. Then I do it anyway.
I first played fantasy football in 2007. My not-yet-husband’s buddies needed another team for their league. They asked me because they knew I was a football fan.
But I was not a football fan. I was a Steelers fan. I watched very few other games.
I was a Steelers fan. Not a football fan. My knowledge of NFL players had definite tiers ranging from actual knowledge of a player’s strengths and weaknesses to probably not even recognizing the name as an NFL player. In order:
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- The rest of the AFC North
- New England Patriots
- The rest of the AFC
- The NFC
(Since moving to Chicago I started rooting for the Bears, but most of the NFC remains a mystery to me.)
Despite my shallow knowledge I dusted off my rarely used Yahoo account and joined the league for my first fantasy football season.
I liked fantasy football. It was fun to have a reason to care about more than one game a week. It was fun being the only girl in the league and taking 3rd place.
But moderate success with fantasy football increased my competitiveness. And my increased competitiveness meant increased stress.
I would agonize over my line up. I hated to lose, but what I hated even more was losing with points on the bench. If I lost a weekly match-up that I could have won had I started a different player I would obsess about it for days.
The year my son was was born I chose not to do fantasy football. I was tired and focused on caring for a 6 month old.
The next year I came back and took 2nd place.
The year my daughter was born I was going to quit fantasy football again. My husband proposed we co-manage a team.
Co-managing with my husband just made fantasy football more stressful. We came in 12 out of 12.
Each year I consider not joining the league. Each year I change my mind. Each year I am intolerable on Sunday mornings (and some Thursdays and Mondays).
My husband tells me I shouldn’t take it so seriously. I’m sure he hopes I don’t take it so seriously in week 5. That’s our match up.
We had our fantasy football draft last weekend. Here are my picks, a.k.a. who I will be obsessed with until I hit the waiver wire. I tend to hit the waiver wire a lot.
- QB: Matt Ryan
- WR: Brandon Marshall
- WR: Vincent Jackson
- RB: Alfred Morris
- RB: Lamar Miller
- TE: Owen Daniels
- W/R: Jordy Nelson
- K: Matt Prater
- DEF: Arizona
- BN: Michael Vick
- BN: Danny Woodhead
- BN: Jared Cook
- BN: Vick Ballard
- BN: Alshon Jeffery
- BN: Justin Blackmon
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