I used to try to overcompensate for being socially awkward.
I’m now the wise age of 35 and generally try to embrace it. It’s less exhausting.
1. I hug people. Most people graciously hug me back, but not always. My first spin class in a few years kicked my ass. The trainer (also a mother of two) seemed really happy to see me, but she’s also the bubbly type. I fell off my STATIONARY bike trying to give her a hug. She gestured that she’d pass on my hug.
2. I wear red lipstick all over my face. I’ve worn red lipstick since I was about 11 years old. My teacher made me take it off every day in junior high. I still put it right back on my face without a mirror. I often miss my lips. Shouldn’t it be just like if you have food in your teeth? It’s not…
3. I own my white girl dance moves. Decades ago, my Mom and her girlfriends watched my dramatic dance interpretations to Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” on my purple boom box. I started to bust it out without liquid courage in my late twenties. Last week I definitely was the only hip hop dancer in my strategic planning work group’s dance break. It broke the ice, right?
4. I sometimes wear baby puke. My almost one-year-old has acid reflux. I brought him into a preschool open house after he puked all over me. The only alternative was not to go. The gracious parent hosts tried to hang up my floor length coat. I insisted that I wear it – zipped up.
5. I change my baby’s boys’ diapers in public, which equals an audience when they pee on me. Public bathrooms and changing tables are disgusting so I try to avoid them with my little ones. My boys may be the modest type as they’ve fought back many times with projectile pee all over me…
6. I was in a zone trying to contain my baby during my nephew’s First Communion. When others around me started to process toward the altar, I brought him with me. My reserved brother-in-law gestured I return to my seat since it was parents-only of the First Communion kids. Oops!
7. I’ve always been clumsy. Everyone said I would grow into my height, but it never happened… The other day I practically ice skated to work on all the ice in Chicago. I started to get a big head about how coordinated I’ve become since I started occasionally looking down when I walk. Just then, I too excitedly yelled “HI” to some co-workers I barely know. I wiped out on the ice. While I normally look around me to make sure no one saw my wipe out, I didn’t have to this time. My acquaintances kindly rushed toward me since I obviously took a big fall.
Do you do embarrassingly things in public? Please share!
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Filed under: wellness