Why Rich Successful Women Get Burned By Men Who Cheat

I’m sick of hearing all the boo-hoo-ing about poor Maria Shriver…like she didn’t see this coming?  Time to get the Rx updated on the goggles.  How could she not see what was right in front of her face?

Seriously, girlfriend…a. you’re a Kennedy…and b. he’s got a rich history with a fondness of groping…and c. again, you’re a Kennedy, a family with a quite an account of cheating, for crying out loud.

Waa…Waa.  Cry me a river.  What I would not give to find out my hubs was dilly-dallying with the help while I was out traveling the country on a book tour.  You want examples?  Well, for starters, my first born for sure and possibly my 12-pack-a-day-diet-coke habit.

A discovery like that would mean there were at least two important things I could scratch off my bucket list:

  1.  A book with my name listed as the author was popular enough to garner a book tour…and
  2. I actually have a MAID–oh, Sweet Jesus–reading this back is almost as exciting as when I imagine the possibility in my mind…A maid…an actual maid…who cleans, and cooks, and washes floors and windows…so I don’t have to…A frickin’ maid.

Alright, enough of the fantasy…back to Shriver, The Gropenator and the other woman…I’m sure you have seen the picture…People Magazine was sure to find the most hideous photo ofMildredPatty (quite surprised they aren’t sticking with her given name…makes her sound even uglier than she looks in the picture they dug up).



Blech, right?  I’m sure you might have entertained a Facebook status or two that questioned Arnold’s thinking when choosing “this” as the woman to cheat on cry baby Shriver with, right?

Don’t we all possess a most hideous picture of ourselves, somewhere in the bottom of a shoe box?  I am sure the beautiful people do as well.  Shriver and Schwarzenegger are certainly guilty, right?

I give you Exhibit A:

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and Exhibit B:

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Every dog has his day.  Even a Shriver and Schwarzenegger.  So for arguments sake, let’s pretend the housekeeper is not quite as appalling as the picture dug up by People suggests.

Quit judging the former Governor while we play devil’s advocate for a moment.

Arnold, like all the cheating creeps before him may have a perfectly good explanation as to why they stray from the beautiful charms (although I consider using her name and the word beautiful in the same breath very debatable) of a Maria Shriver.

These men are more turned on by a woman doing what women have been doing since the beginning of time.  Nurturing.

Patty cooked, cleaned, took care of the household duties, and probably made sure Mr. Arnold’s favorite slippers were always next to his favorite chair. 

She probably teased him with an occasional home cooked meal of Weiner Schnitzel as she multi-tasked by scrubbing the grout in the foyer.

When do you suppose Maria ever whipped up a meal for Arnie?  I’d bet the closest Maria ever came to grout was choosing the color for an Appalachian Rehab Project (after she hired the help to hire the volunteers to get their hands dirty).

The Cheating Creep is much like most men.  They need a “mommy figure”; someone to take care of them and their castle, as well as listen to them and tell them what to do.

A chick-in-charge like Shriver is not going to do this.  Not her fault, I doubt Eunice was a great mentor in the “domestic skills” area.  She was too busy traveling the world with her special cause.

Who could expect Maria to listen to Arnold…how the hell could she understand what he was even saying?  I know I can’t.  I always relied on closed captioning during a movie of his or one of his press conferences.

Enter Matilda…I’m guessing Patty had a hard-to-understand accent of her own.  Maybe the explanation of their connection all those years ago was just as simple as a mutual misunderstanding.

Nah, that’s probably just crazy talk.  But I think I am on to something with Arnold’s need to find a gal willing to take care of him.  Patty filled the bill in that department. 

After Maria licks her wounds, she should ask Oprah for Rachel Ray’s phone number…I’m sure she has a crate full of 30-minute recipes even a novice like the soon-to-be ex-Mrs. could figure out.

I doubt she wants to mend the Schwarzenegger marital fence, but it might come in handy with the next Mister.

Rich, successful guys want the trophy to waltz around, but like regular Joe’s, they want a gal at home to take care of them.  A richer, more successful chick-in-charge is not going to keep him interested for long.  No matter what her name is. 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Perhaps Arnold found a woman willing to take care of him more attractive fourteen years ago.  No, not an excuse, but certainly understandable.

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