My Crazy Version of the 12 Days of Christmas

The song 12 days of Christmas has morphed over the years into a headline for all sorts of self-serving marketing promos or spoofs.  Personally, I have no problem with it.   In fact, I shall borrow it myself to share a glimpse of my awesome (as in crazy) holiday season.  Let me know if any of this sounds familiar.

….12 Presents lost

Not only did I hide presents from my husband (mostly an ipad) and my kids, I also misplaced presents for the kids at the shelter that I sponsor at work.  They all turned up, but I did buy for someone twice because I forgot I had bought for them already (so I gave it to someone else).

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….11 Returns before Christmas

I had so many returns before Christmas.  Most of them were decorations from Target.  But I also bought my daughter the wrong size 3 times!  Every time I went to buy her a Christmas dress for the concert at school, she was taller than when I left for the store.  But I spent the first week of December returning everything I bought in November.

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….10 Hours awaiting

I have successfully taken my kids to visit Santa since they were born, except this one.  This year, I wasted four different days of my life standing in line for Santa, to only bail at the half-way point.  Thank God we have Max the Elf (You know, the Elf of the Shelf), otherwise Santa would never know what the kids actually wanted this year.

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….9 Tins of cookies

Cupcakes are out and tins of cookies are in. I got 9 tins of different types of cookies.  I’ll be honest I re-gifted all but one.

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….8 Strands of broken lights

Like most homes, I put lights on the balcony, along the fence of our home and a few strands on the tree.  I have not had to get new lights in years.  So although I am complaining about having to buy new lights, the new ones are much cooler than my old strands.  But 8!  By the way, one had to be returned (part of my 11 returns before Christmas).

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….7 Broken tree toppers

I thought it would be a great idea to get a tree topper that lit up this year.  After all, I was already buying new lights for everything.  I started with one pretty light up star. It had a short.  So I returned it and bought two others, another with lights and one with gems.  The lights didn’t work at all and the gems fell off when I took it out of the box.  Without dragging this out for you, it happened with 4 others (some angels and other stars).   I hate to say it, I bought 5 from Target and 2 from Walgreens.

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….6 Cakes a falling

Last Sunday, I committed to a 12-hour day of cooking and baking (so many moms have this holiday endeavor).  I started on schedule.  The first 6 mini cakes came out (all gifts).  My husband decided to plug his guitar into an amp and practice.  I thought he was going the acoustic route, but no!  His amp was so loud, the entire floor shook and as I turned around, all of my cakes fell.  Yes, I yelled.  Yes, I sent him to the store for more ingredients!  Yes, I baked them all over again!

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….5 Frozen dolls

I have a 5-year old daughter.  She asked Santa for everything from the movie Frozen. Every time someone asked me what she wanted, I said a Frozen doll.   I forgot I told so many people the same thing and she opened up 5 Frozen dolls.

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….4 Pairs of gloves

I had gloves on my Christmas list.  I handed my list to my husband.  He told everyone the same thing.  So I got 4 pairs of gloves.  The funny thing is that he bought me a pair of gloves as well.

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….3 Kids non-stop fighting

The joy of your kids being home over the holidays includes a lot of extra time that is wonderful.  However, they get to spend every day together, which means they fight non-stop.  Since my kids are very close in age, they all fight over the same toys.

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….2 Pounds of flying ricotta

On December 24th, I bought 2 pounds of fresh ricotta cheese for lasagna.   After mixing it with the spinach and seasonings, I reached across to remove the beaters, but I accidentally hot the on button and tilted the bowl.  Since I have an old mixer the beaters still work without the bowl being locked down, I threw the ricotta all over the kitchen.  Back to the store  I went to buy 2 more pounds ricotta.

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….1 Heaving husband

The 24th and 25th of December were great days. Broken tree toppers, busted strands of lights, lost presents, falling cakes could never ruin my holiday.  As soon as everyone walked out of my house Christmas day, my husband started heaving – poor guy.

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Next year, I want a clean up crew and a personal shopper for Christmas.

Hope you all had a great holiday, full of funny stories. 

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