Some Laughs From a Serious Guy/ Stop Stressing/If You cannot Enjoy a few of these Nurse Ratchet is Awaiting your Call

Some Laughs From a Serious Guy/ Stop Stressing/If You cannot Enjoy a few of these Nurse Ratchet is Awaiting your Call

My Good friend Anonymous dropped these off for me to pass on to you

Today,I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young lady with Green hair suddenly appeared in my comfort zone and asked WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE”? I looked at her and said WELL ISN’T IT OBVIOUS? I’M INTERESTED IN BUYING A REFRIGERATOR. Yea! she didn’t quite know how to respond. It was the old deer in the headlights look.

*I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

*When people see a Cats litter box they always say “Oh! you have a Cat”I just say no! it’s for company.

*Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. My answer always was always “a Friggin Ambulance if you don’t mind.”

  • The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
  • The easiest way to find something lost is to BUY A REPLACEMENT.
  • Have you ever noticed that the Roman Numerials for forty (40) are XL
  • The soul purpose for a Childs middle name is so they know when they are in REAL TROUBLE.
  • Did you ever notice that when you put the two words “THE” and “IRS” together it spells “THEIRS.
  • ON AGING- A TOPIC I”VE JUST DISCOVERED.–
  • Eventually you will reach a point when you stop fibbing about your age and start bragging about it.
  • Some people try to turn back their odometer.”Not Me. I really want people to know why I look this way.
  • I have traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.
  • Ah! being young is exciting but being old is so much more comfortable.
  • A senior prayer we seniors should all heed. “LORD KEEP YOUR ARMS AROUND MY SHOULDER AND YOU HANDS OVER MY MOUTH.
  • May you always have- LOVE TO SHARE–CASH TO SPARE–TIRES WITH AIR–AND FRIENDS WHO CARE-
    Seniors are most certainly not the only ones who can make us chuckle at times. We only have to look at some of those who are elected to represent us. I HOPE YOU FIND SOME OF THESE FAMALIAR. I SURE DID.
  • We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to Public Office -Aesop.
  • Those who are to smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. Plato.
  • Politicians are the same all over.They promise to build bridges where there is no river. Nikita Khrushchev.
  • When I was a boy I was told anyone could be the president.I’m beginning to believe it–Clarence Darrow.
  • Politicians are people who see the light at the end of the tunnel, and go out and buy some more tunnel. John Quinton
  • Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. Oscar Ameringer
  • A Politician is a person who will lay down YOUR LIFE for his country. Texas Guinan-
  • I have come to the conclusion that politics is much to serious a matter to be left to Politicians. Charles de Gaulle.
  • Instead of giving politicians the keys to the city,it might be better to change the locks. Doug Larson.
  • Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Goverment. But then, I repeat myself–Mark Twain.
  • I don’t make jokes. I just watch the Goverment and report the facts-Will Rogers.
  • I Contend that for a nation to try and tax itself into prosperity, is like a person standing in a bucket and trying to lift themselves up by the handle–Winston Churchill.
  • A Goverment which robs Peter to pay Paul,can always depend on the support of Paul. Will Rogers.
  • The problem we face today is because the people that work for a living are outnumberd by those who vote for a living. George Bernard Shaw.

So That’s all folks as they say-I hope most of you got a few Laughts from these. I know I did. Certainly we could all use some laughter. Cheers and be safe.

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