Some Laughs From a Serious Guy/ Stop Stressing/If You cannot Enjoy a few of these Nurse Ratchet is Awaiting your Call

Some Laughs From a Serious Guy/ Stop Stressing/If You cannot Enjoy a few of these Nurse Ratchet is Awaiting your Call

My Good friend Anonymous dropped these off for me to pass on to you

Today,I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young lady with Green hair suddenly appeared in my comfort zone and asked WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE”? I looked at her and said WELL ISN’T IT OBVIOUS? I’M INTERESTED IN BUYING A REFRIGERATOR. Yea! she didn’t quite know how to respond. It was the old deer in the headlights look.

*I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

*When people see a Cats litter box they always say “Oh! you have a Cat”I just say no! it’s for company.

*Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. My answer always was always “a Friggin Ambulance if you don’t mind.”

  • The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
  • The easiest way to find something lost is to BUY A REPLACEMENT.
  • Have you ever noticed that the Roman Numerials for forty (40) are XL
  • The soul purpose for a Childs middle name is so they know when they are in REAL TROUBLE.
  • Did you ever notice that when you put the two words “THE” and “IRS” together it spells “THEIRS.
  • Eventually you will reach a point when you stop fibbing about your age and start bragging about it.
  • Some people try to turn back their odometer.”Not Me. I really want people to know why I look this way.
  • I have traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.
  • Ah! being young is exciting but being old is so much more comfortable.
  • A senior prayer we seniors should all heed. “LORD KEEP YOUR ARMS AROUND MY SHOULDER AND YOU HANDS OVER MY MOUTH.
    Seniors are most certainly not the only ones who can make us chuckle at times. We only have to look at some of those who are elected to represent us. I HOPE YOU FIND SOME OF THESE FAMALIAR. I SURE DID.
  • We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to Public Office -Aesop.
  • Those who are to smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. Plato.
  • Politicians are the same all over.They promise to build bridges where there is no river. Nikita Khrushchev.
  • When I was a boy I was told anyone could be the president.I’m beginning to believe it–Clarence Darrow.
  • Politicians are people who see the light at the end of the tunnel, and go out and buy some more tunnel. John Quinton
  • Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. Oscar Ameringer
  • A Politician is a person who will lay down YOUR LIFE for his country. Texas Guinan-
  • I have come to the conclusion that politics is much to serious a matter to be left to Politicians. Charles de Gaulle.
  • Instead of giving politicians the keys to the city,it might be better to change the locks. Doug Larson.
  • Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Goverment. But then, I repeat myself–Mark Twain.
  • I don’t make jokes. I just watch the Goverment and report the facts-Will Rogers.
  • I Contend that for a nation to try and tax itself into prosperity, is like a person standing in a bucket and trying to lift themselves up by the handle–Winston Churchill.
  • A Goverment which robs Peter to pay Paul,can always depend on the support of Paul. Will Rogers.
  • The problem we face today is because the people that work for a living are outnumberd by those who vote for a living. George Bernard Shaw.

So That’s all folks as they say-I hope most of you got a few Laughts from these. I know I did. Certainly we could all use some laughter. Cheers and be safe.

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