Hoarder Janet

Hoarder Janet
The first thing you need to do is admit you have a problem. Yup. Junk.

We all expand to fill our space.

Since much of our space has been vacated by the boys and their junk, a vacuum has been created.  I am only too glad to stuff it with debris that I do not need.  Since I rarely plate a meal, my kitchen drawers have provided shelter to more odds and ends than any family could ever need.

Everyone has junk.

I am a junk queen, and my kingdom includes places for the leftovers of every project I have ever started, abandoned or dreamed of.

Today, as Steve doubled up and recorded two  podcasts, I decided to attack my riches.  He will be home tomorrow to golf in a tournament, and I want to be as productive as he is.  I would love to have a TA DA moment.

All of this started when I began a craft project:  making paper daisies for a baby shower for my daughter in law, Kathryn.  The theme is Mother to Bee, and so I have gone full tilt to create as many thematic tie ins as possible.  No one tortures a theme like I do.  I will fill in the details after the weekend, but for the moment, suffice it to say that a hunt for tape and glue turned up a treasure trove of these items.  And not just rolls of tape- I have found 3 tape dispensers, and 8 bottles of glue- one for every purpose under the sun.  I even found glitter glue and many jars of abandoned sparkles.  I have a glue gun proudly labeled with my name. Was I in a group gluing event that necessitated my branding J Dahl on the grip?  If I was, it was at least 15-20  years ago, when the boys were in grade school.  There is still a lone glue stick in the chamber, willing and able to bond things.

If I am at 5 staplers and counting- 3 full size and 2 portable. I think I have a future as an office assistant.

One drawer has provided safe harbor for tools that are  used in the course of everyday life.  These tools have a home 20 steps away in the garage, but they are never repatriated.  We do not even bother to look at the tool bench for home improvement implements. This drawer will exist in its status quo for awhile, though I did gather all 5 mini screw drivers into their plastic housing.  Steve and I are very limited in our do-it-yourself ambitions, and mini screwdrivers may bear more fingerprints than all other tools combined.  Glasses, you know…

I created a correspondance drawer, with address labels, stamps and envelopes.  I found a sheet of Christmas stamps from two years ago- I presume they are forever stamps.  I collected 75 pens from across the junky tundra, and tested all of them. 50% are withered and dead.  The pencils are stalwarts, and since I found an electric pencil sharpener, I took a time out to get them ready for any standardized tests I might want to take.  This attention to unnecessary detail is why the project took 4 hours. It is also why I will buy mechanical pencils in the future.

I guess my Blockbuster Preferred card will not do me much good, and I am not likely to put the WCKG sticker on my car,  The lapel pins from the 125th All Star Game will probably not be a fashion statement for me anytime soon.  I ditched the BB card, but hung on to the other stuff.  That is how I got into this overstuffed mess in the first place.

I have concluded this purge, and the file cabinet drawers and the adjacent cabinets are taunting me with their rebel messes.  I will live to attack them on a fresh day.  In the mean time, if you need something taped or stapled- I am your girl.


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