Less than two weeks to go until my baby is a husband.
I am chipping away at my “to do”list. Jewelry made with Justine. Check.
Table tent cards embellished. Check.
Table number frames bedazzled. Check. (Matt is photo filling them….) NOT DONE.
Dress to alterations. Check.
Meeting at Church to formalize details. Check.
Rehearsal dinner. Offloaded 100% to venue.
Stuff for out of town bags ordered. Half check.
Bags customized. Check (pictures to follow)
Details formalized at venue. Check.
Morning after breakfast. Off loaded to Steve who offloaded to Erica. Check.
Money bleeding out to DJ, photographer,videographer. Check Check Check.
This is a marital democracy and the bride’s folks and the Dahls are partners in this soiree. The days of bridal monopoly on the costs of a wedding are (and should be) over. We are having a good time together as we conspire to make this special day magical for our kids.
Now the shame:
Book Club rescheduled due to my inability to focus and read. Check.
Blog at et al. Nope. Sorry.
Today I am offering up a couple of bullet points, because my brain is in a basket.
It has been a savagely hard month at the Dahl house, as Steve made creative and practical decisions for his podcast. We are in sync for 36 years now, and I trust his instincts implicitly. But the kids who were here every day are surrogate kids to me and to Steve. They had travelled here 600 times, and there is great sadness. Stephanie, particularly (sorry Peter and Jim) functioned as a daughter to me, and I feel a great void in her absence. That being said, I know these individuals with their excellent skills and experience will make a great future for themselves.
The new configuration has Steve working harder than ever, hands on the console like it was for years. I can hear that he is focused and determined. Dag Juhlin (the Great) is like minded, nimble with his mind and his observations, and zen in his demeanor. Brenden remains the representative of the Dahlpast Dahlcast, and it is an excellent triangle. The last two weeks have shown me that Steve really DOES know what he needs. The reconfiguration was not a FAIL as much as it was a rewiring. And the result is bright, light and engaging. There is a chemistry and connectivity that calls to mind a droll Garry Meier with a sober Steve Dahl.
Just like the heart knows what the heart wants, I guess Steve’s knew what he needed. I have never seen anyone work so hard to build a revolutionary kind of experience. He is kind of grumpy. My “to do” list for him is unattended. But I am cutting him some slack. He is in transition.
Speaking of transition, my best thoughts to Mark Suppelsa. Generally something triggers the decision to be your best self, and stop drinking, and I imagine that is the case here. With Steve, it was the awareness that his boys looked up to him, and he did not wish for them to be disappointed. It is approaching 17 years, and I know that it is Steve’s proudest accomplishment. He had a million reasons for loving the drinking, and one compelling reason to quit. He has become a good man. I would point anyone who struggles with their demons to listen to Lowen and Navarro’sLegacy. It captures the importance of being worthy of your childrens’ respect. On your last day, if your children are proud to be yours- you have earned your legacy. It sounds easy, but our children are our most unrelenting critics. They magnify our failings and gloss over the network of sacrifices we make for them. So to earn their love and honor is no small feat. Accomplishing it means you will live on in the world in what your kids accomplish..
It might help to deepen your determination to have the best days to know that Eric Lowen died after a fierce battle with ALS. Our tomorrows are not promised to us, but there are gifts right here in our todays. Most of them are more vibrant and memorable when seen with clear eyes. The music that Eric Lowen and Dan Navarro made together, and which Dan goes on with, has been a companion for me for years, and is an especially sweet companion as my family(and Steve’s work family) shifts shapes. I highly recommend it for your listening pleasure. And of course, the podcast, too. Subscribe. Come visit. Dahl.com. Even I am part of the audio madness from time to time.
Life is moving on. Smile, don’t cry. Change, or die.