At this point we’ve heard all the theories concerning this supposedly impending Apocalyptic End of the World / Mayan Calendar Flip:
— That the date has already passed because Mayans didn’t figure in the leap years
— That something will change, but more along the line of a shift in our human consciousness
— That we’re all going to suddenly explode during the morning commute on Friday
— That the poles will shift and we’ll all turn into delicious spaghetti
— Maybe, perhaps ideally, this weekend at the bar is about to get real interesting as many of our friends and enemies slowly zombie-out
— Or, most likely, it’s just the end of the long-form Mayan calendar and we’ll all be back at work, looking for the next Doomsday on Monday
Doomsday soothsayers don’t have a very good track record. And I’m inclined to believe that we’ll all wake up on Saturday with a hangover (a happy hangover) and think, “Crap, what am I going to do with all these grenades and canned beets?”
Whatever you believe, there may come a point — say, at Friday around midnight (or Thursday around midnight? I’m not sure how this works) — where you’re pretty sure the world is about to end, so you decide to crank one last We’re all goin’ out together! tune.
How do you proceed? Go out rockin? Something mellow? An old band or a current fave?
I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve narrowed it down to a few.
A popular choice might be something like The Beatles, “Let it Be“.
Or perhaps something to aid the denial, like “Keep on Rockin in the Free World.”
Though, if a catastrophic Apocalypse was actually scored, it might sound something more like “Bad Dog No Biscuits” from the space-bounty-hunter classic Cowboy Bebop.
Any comprehensive list to pull a quick last jam from should have meaningful songs, hilarious songs, ironic tunes and a few tracks just for rocking out (because who knows how long this will take).
I’ve made two lists. Here’s the first…
Official Jam Room last songs on Earth:
A song that is both peaceful and worldly: The Beatles, “Hey Jude”
A song that works whether there’s an Apocalypse or not: Alabama Shakes, “Hold On”
One melancholy: Violent Femmes, “Good Feeling”
Something hilarious: Incubus, “Pardon Me” (“while I burst into flames”)
Something spiritual: Bob Marley “One Love”
And one that makes no sense at all: Weezer, “Undone (The Sweater Song)”
My girlfriend once said: “If you’re troubled, go back to the music you were listening to when you were happy.” How cool is that? And I do. And it makes me feel better. If the world were about to end, no matter what music I’m currently obsessed with or who I think my favorite band is, I might actually go back to my first favorite band — the soil I grew from.
Therefore, my second list is for us old school 311 fans. You know that this is really who we’d turn to…
The 311 List:
A song that is both peaceful and worldly: “Weightless” (one might call for “Beautiful Disaster,” but I disagree)
A song that works whether there’s an Apocalypse or not: “Freak Out”
One that’s happy: “Stealing Happy Hours”
One melancholy: “Eons”
Something hilarious: “Lucky”
Something spiritual: “This Too Shall Pass”
Something that rocks the hell out: “Creatures (For A While)”
(Confidential to 311 fans: You also have to watch this video of “Do You Right” before the world explodes, just for Nick’s hair (THE NINETIES!).)
Or you could probably pop in any album by The Doors and not have to think about all this.