Category: Memoir

Dystopia Trump: In the shadow of a man who has no use for me, I still sing "I am what I am"!

Dystopia Trump: In the shadow of a man who has no use for me, I still sing "I am what I am"!
“I can’t stand being in this house. In the first place, it makes me terribly nervous. I’m scared to death of doors, locks, people roaming around in the background, under the trees, in the bushes, I’m absolutely terrified.” – Little Edie Beale, Grey Gardens (1975) I am currently writing the words I hoped against hope I’d... Read more »

My night with a drug addict at McDonald's or "Would you like to try the new McHeroin today?":

My night with a drug addict at McDonald's or "Would you like to try the new McHeroin today?":
I have to learn to stop leaving my house. After spending a leisurely afternoon at home, reading and rearranging as one is wont to do, my mother asked me if I’d like to go out to dinner with one of our mutual co-workers and my sister? And of course, ignoring all of the misheggas that usually... Read more »

Why female comediennes empower this suburban white boy

“I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.” – Phyllis Diller Unconsciously, the two blogs that I’ve written so far this week involve two titans of female comedy: Carol Burnett and Joan Rivers. Consciously, female comedians have been a part of my DNA... Read more »
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Why I love wearing lipstick and why anyone who laughs at that should 'stick it'

Why I love wearing lipstick and why anyone who laughs at that should 'stick it'
Indulge me in a quick flashback: When I was about four or five years old, I was browsing the costume shack at Sonny Acres Pumpkin Farm in West Chicago. The year was approximately 1995, many years before the current acceptance of a person’s free will in defining their gender. I bounded excitedly towards an exquisite... Read more »

How Julia Child saved my sanity and started my blogging addiction

How Julia Child saved my sanity and started my blogging addiction
Life is a web twisted with golden braids and sharp nettles. The delicate interweaving of events, people, places, and experiences create the rich tapestry that cloaks our lives. Though people weave in and out of our lives, we are either richer or poorer for having met them. The summer after I graduated high school was... Read more »

Save the Slashers: In Defense of 80's Horror Movies

Save the Slashers: In Defense of 80's Horror Movies
How many of us remember sitting in our rooms on a fall evening, wrapped in copious amounts of blankets, and popping in a crusty VHS of Friday the 13th we rented from the video store. The taboo of the slasher movie was in full force, and watching one was a right of passage for all... Read more »
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Save Your Applause til' the End: My Summer of Artistic Triumph (ChicagoNow's Morning Blogapalooz-Hour: Volume II)

Save Your Applause til' the End: My Summer of Artistic Triumph (ChicagoNow's Morning Blogapalooz-Hour: Volume II)
I get home late in in the day, the August sun just starting to set. My 20-year-old body hits the bed in a pile of fatigue and unfathomable happiness. Suddenly, my mood changes as I remember the events of the best summer weekend of my life. I start to weep bitter tears, like a man... Read more »

Sonic the Hedgehog and My Grandma share the same birthday or "Shirley Adventure 2 Battle: a memoir"

Sonic the Hedgehog and My Grandma share the same birthday or "Shirley Adventure 2 Battle: a memoir"
It’s fascinating how often to seemingly disparate concepts can fuse together like an ameba hopped up on steroids. I’ve never been one to put my chips on the concept of coincidence holding deeper meaning; to me, a coincidence is just a coincidence. My family would, and does, challenge me on my views regarding this subject. Since there... Read more »

Like walking into a dimestore strip joint: The demise of Ken's World of Video in Addison

Like walking into a dimestore strip joint: The demise of Ken's World of Video in Addison
Imagine that you’re four years old. I know this might be a fanciful proposition for some of my older readers, but I’m asking you desperately to humor me. The year is 1995, a year of great creativity, but also of dark shadows. It’s the year of the OJ Simpson Trial, the advent of eBay, and... Read more »
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When Steven Met Little Edie or "The S-T-A-U-N-C-H Road Not Taken"

When Steven Met Little Edie or "The S-T-A-U-N-C-H Road Not Taken"
Robert Frost’s immortal poem The Road Not Taken is one of the most sensuous poems in our lexicon, bristling with beauty and the specific joy of living. That being said, it’s also one of the most misquoted poems in the world, as evidenced by this example: The most quoted part of this poem reads as... Read more »