Why My Adult Coloring Book Pissed Me Off

The Big Guy isn’t working at home today, so I decided to open my adult coloring book and “meditate” my way through coloring a page. This activity is supposed to be meditative and have a relaxing effect. Well let me tell you, it doesn’t.

Big Mistake. Huge mistake. Ginormous – well, you get the picture.

Most of my life has been coloring outside the lines, and NOW I’m supposed to find it relaxing to be back in the box?

No, and a resounding, hell no. I certainly don’t think so. I mean I have really tried, with and without my woo-woo music in the background.

What I have discovered this just isn’t going to work with me. My question is, Is it just me?

According to a 2015 article from Huffpost, there are 7 reasons why adult coloring books are great for your mental, emotional and intellectual health. You can read the entire article here:


Well, I have at least 7 reasons why these books are not what they pretend to be. Debunking the myth starts here.

Focus directed to coloring is a calming tool

When I think of coloring a mandala with its hundreds of tiny little boxes – figuring out each and every box to color – the last thing I think of is relaxing. This is the epitome of stress. Teeny tiny space coloring could be dealt with simply. Solution: Only use three colors. Good luck picking out three.

Coloring can help with emotional and mental health issues

I can be wrong here, but I’m thinking it exacerbates emotional and mental health issues. While focusing on colors and agonizing on where to put one color over another, the victim here has to make an ungodly amount of choices dealing with the life and death of the picture. Solution: Xanax

Coloring helps calm down the amygdala

My amygdala is just fine, thank you. This is the part of the brain responsible for the response and memory of emotions, especially fear. What a coincidence, I have never felt so fearful or so out of control as when I’m coloring a multi-pieced drawing. Solution: Red wine because I’m sure the Xanax is gone by now.

Coloring brings us back to a simpler time

My childhood sucked. Any simpler time would have to have been pre-birth, maybe. Solution: Make up fun stories about your past. If you believe them, who in their right mind would question it?

Coloring has intellectual benefits

Apparently for the gen pop, coloring helps with problem solving and organization. Me? I just packed up a five-bedroom house, moved and unpacked it all before it was time to move again. That’s organization. Solution: Short of packing up your house and moving, I got nothin’

Coloring utilizes both hemispheres of the brain

I’m good with whatever side is working today. Sometimes it’s my left brain, and, ok, mostly it’s my left brain, and I’m ok with that. I never dealt well with the right anyway. Solution: Make friends with the side of your brain that’s working, before you piss it off.

Coloring helps in practicing mindfulness

How does it replace negative thoughts with positive ones? Yea, well the jury’s still out on that one for me. I am mindful of the way I feel when coloring, and there’s nothing positive about it. My positive thought? It’s not working for me. Solution: fire pit and a match

If you are in the gen pop that responds to the calming properties of coloring and you are content with doing so inside the lines, Brava!

For me, nothing beats my glass cutter and a brand-new Ninja Turtle band aid to get my head into being mindful and focused. And, when I’m doing therapeutic, the lines don’t matter!


The Jury is still out:

Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Leave a comment