Reads(4): What is My/Your/The Problem?

Reads(4):  What is My/Your/The Problem?

Our conflicts provide a major to-do list that is substantial.  And once we excel at solving our own conflicts, we start to think we can solve everyone’s.  Conflicts denote the shape and structure of the individual and how he/she fits and doesn’t fit with others.  Other people can advise you on your conflicts, but almost no one can solve what is yours to do.

1) Many conflicts start from misunderstanding – translation: ‘I’m brought up this way, and you are brought up that way.’   These diversity conflicts are resolved by finding the encompassing reality and negotiating an agreement.

2) Many conflicts are inadvertent, and are from compounded conflicts: ‘I was embarrassed at work and later rear-ended someone’s car.’  To solve, we need to apologize and accept responsibility where it was our fault, and speak up where it was someone else’s fault.

3) Sometimes we overcare and bully our way into someone else’s concerns.  Sometimes it is warranted.  But we have to take great care to not override the other person, or we will lose their trust and confidence.

4) Some conflicts are natural change eruptions that test everyone’s capacity to work in an emergency.  No one is at fault.  The pattern of monotony needs to be broken.

Conflict-solving is a skill that denotes our maturity.  Do we maintain our relationships, or our grudges?  Did we solve our war wounds, or do we still live with debilitating anguish?  Do we have the maturity to get over ourselves when we are wrong and champion causes we know are right?  Take time to know and solve your inner and outer conflicts.  Many times you can solve conflicts before they happen by maintaining a level of detachment and know-how.

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