Communication, or actually miscommunication, is at the root of most missed opportunities in life, especially in dating. This past weekend, my friend had two dates lined up with guys she had been messaging with on Hinge. One guy said he was heading up to his lake house in Wisconsin for a guys’ weekend, but that he would leave on Saturday instead of Friday so he could grab a drink with her. He was actively texting leading up to the date, but then he cancelled about an hour before the meeting time.
He told her that he was running behind as he was trying to get ready for the weekend in Wisconsin. He asked if she was available for brunch on Sunday instead. We didn’t believe he was actually going to make it back down to Chicago from Wisconsin in time for brunch, but I appreciated his efforts to try to make something work. My friend did not. So she decided not to respond to his text. Her feelings were hurt and she was done. She also already had plans for brunch on Sunday with another guy.
She decided to concentrate on her Sunday coffee date. Because of the lake guy cancelling the night before, I could tell she put her guard up on the coffee guy. He had picked a restaurant for brunch, but he didn’t send her the exact time for the date yet so she was now doubting how serious he was about meeting her. On Saturday morning, he texted to check in with her, but still no talk of time for the date the next day. She asked us if she should respond. My answer is almost always yes! But most of our group agreed that she should move on because she needs a guy who takes charge and follows through. While I agree that she does fit well with that type of guy, it was a little too early to be judging the Brunch Guy solely on his lack of sending a time for the date. She hadn’t asked him what time so maybe he thought she wasn’t serious about the date either? Don’t overthink the little things. I told her to give the Brunch Guy a chance and not let the a Lake Guy also ruin this date. She didn’t want to message him, but she did. I was fairly persistent about it, and definitely a little annoying.
BUT, they set the time and they met for brunch before he went to work. When she met up with us after the date, she was all smiles and gushing about how much fun they had. She said she was feeling things in places that hadn’t felt things in a long time. Ha! By that afternoon, Brunch Guy was asking her when he could see her again. She giggled the rest of the day.
It’s easy to tell someone to be vulnerable, but to actually do it is hard. I was proud of my friend for going against her inner voice and her friends who were trying to protect her heart. If you can find the courage to truly put yourself out there, it might just pay off! Surround yourself with people who aren’t afraid to take chances so you start to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. It’s empowering to accomplish something that doesn’t come easy! And it’s way easier to try something when you know you have great people cheering you on and lifting you up if things don’t go as planned. If nothing else, you can try out a new restaurant and make a new friend. I mean, sometimes the donuts are worth going on the date.
When was the last time you stepped outside your comfort zone?
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