One. It turns out that it’s just one. And it wasn’t even my date.
Over the last ten days, it’s been raining men for one of my best friends who has gone on three first dates over that time, and was talking with a fourth guy. Two of these guys even got second dates, and they both seemed pretty cool when I met them. She brought both of the guys out to meet us because she wanted a second opinion. Then, I actually went on her third first date last weekend because we had an extra ticket to the Garth Brooks concert. She wasn’t sure who to pick from the three, but she decided on the hot one.
He met us at the bar for a couple of drinks before the concert, and on the way out the door, he started doing cartwheels. I was caught off guard when I saw his long legs in the air, but I was actually more surprised that his hands didn’t stick to the nasty bar floor. He continued doing cartwheels throughout the night, including cartwheels as we left the arena after the concert.
As my friend was getting more annoyed with every cartwheel, she asked me why it wasn’t bothering me. I guess because it wasn’t actually happening to me, and because I just assumed he was drunk. Then she asked, “well, how many penis drawings should I put up with?”
So, it turns out that with every receipt that night, he drew a picture of a penis. And then this 38-year-old just laughed and laughed. The final receipt was when we grabbed some quick food after the show, and with that last drawing, she called an Uber. Because we all live near each other, we jumped in the Uber. Three of us got out of the Uber at my date’s house with the plan to each walk home from there. As we closed our car doors, he stayed inside to take the Uber the rest of the way home without even saying goodbye.
She was so done, which I totally get, but I couldn’t wrap my head around why she was so annoyed that all three of these guys didn’t turned out to be the wrong fit for her. The rest of the weekend she kept talking about taking a break from dating because she just didn’t want to bother with it anymore. Of course I’ve seen many people who want to quit after a bad experience, but this girl went on three first dates in less than ten days. That’s awesome! Finding one guy is hard, and she found three. Three cute guys each having some personality. Granted the personalities didn’t mesh, but at least they put themselves out there so she got a feel for who they were with very minimal effort on her part.
Whether it’s an awesome date or one that ends with your date stealing your Uber, you can stay positive by taking a few minutes to think about why it didn’t work. Just like in sales, evaluate the process making note of what you did well and what your date could’ve done differently. What did you learn about yourself, what you want in a relationship, etc.? Every date is an opportunity for personal growth, and the more you date, the easier it gets. Would you still get upset after a bad date when you walk way learning something valuable about yourself? The most common comment I hear after a bad date is, “at least I got a free meal”, but it’s so much more than that. So while my friend used the hottest concert ticket of the year on the wrong guy, there is value in the experience.