Facebook Is Your Dating Resume

Facebook is my scrapbook so I document the interesting things in my life, and by interesting, I mean interesting to me. Although I got quite a few likes when my cousin turned me from a brunette to a bronde a few weeks ago. But Facebook is also your dating resume, especially if you don’t lock yours down, which of course I don’t.

So I met a guy on Tinder two weeks ago who I thought was cute, but he struggled a bit with the conversation.

Him: Hi tracie!

Me: Hey! What have you been up to this week?

Him: Well hello, there u are

Because I’m used to guys not giving me much to work with, I went straight to a story that seemed to be gathering interest recently … I dressed up as Mike Ditka for the Bears game on Halloween night. Well, Mike Ditka if he wore leather pants and heels.


Him: Leather pants are hot! Send me a pic. lol

I didn’t, but as we chatted, we discovered that we are neighbors, like two-blocks-away-neighbors, which he was so excited about that he asked me to meet him for a drink right then. I was getting ready for a run before Game 6 of the World Series, so I declined.

His response: I’m going to stalk you on Facebook.

I saw his friend request come through just as I put my phone away to run, so I ignored it. When I finished my run, I saw that he had canceled the request, which I realized it was because he didn’t need to be my friend to peek into my Facebook resume. The texts that followed said that because we’re neighbors and love sports, we should hang out. But it became apparent by his texts that the photos he saw of me with my girl friends made him hesitant to be more than friends. I told him we would consider adding him to our #Wolfpack, so he offered up his single friends to join as well, so I left it at that.

The next morning he asked who was watching the game that night with me, would any of the girls like him and would I shop him around.

Him: #wolfpack!! Me and U.

He pushed back a first date he already had scheduled for that night so he could meet up with my friend and I. He brought along his roommate, and after an hour passed, he pushed his date back another hour. He said he was having a good time, proposed that we become “makeout buddies” and gave me a kiss on the cheek before he left. He texted after the game trying to get me to come over to his place because “we’re neighbors” and since the Cubs won, we should have a “celebration make out session”. I didn’t respond.

He texted me the next day at 7 am asking when we were going to hang out again, sent the facebook friend request again, and followed it up with another text, “I wanna hang out a lot”. I tried to set this back into the friend motion by saying it’s fun to have another neighbor who likes to go out.

Him: Yeah for sure and I like u too so that’s a bonus

Me: Total bonus. It’s not as fun to hang out with people you don’t like.

Him: Yeah but I like u like u like enough to want to kiss

Much like looking for a job, your (Facebook) resume is out there among hundreds of other people just like you, so the in-person interview can make the difference. If you find that you have mutual Facebook friends, they now become your references.  But remember, just because you get offered the job, you don’t always have to take it.

Follow Hitz & Mrs on Twitter (@HitzAndMrs) or Facebook.

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