Be Direct To Direct Your Way To Another Date

I know people think I live in a happy dating bubble. That even when something crappy happens on a date, like the guy who ordered his food before I got to our lunch date, I find something positive about the experience. Over the last few weeks, several friends drew me into their dating bubbles, and it wasn’t as happy, but at least having a chance at meeting someone is better than sitting at home.

A universal problem the last few weeks, with me included, was chatting/texting with a guy, but it going nowhere after a date or two. The texts continued, but no future dates were being set. My suggestion to everyone, per usual, was to just be direct. I’d rather know if something is dying instead of worrying about it while it dies a slow death. Four girls with four different results:

1 – She sent a cute text about how she’d rather be hanging out with him instead of what she was currently doing. He responded asking her when she wants to get together. They went out a few days later. Made plans for the weekend, but he cancelled. They have mutual friends so they hung out as a group a few days later. Now she waits.

2 – She sent a text saying she had fun on the first date and said they should hang out again. He responded with a vague text that said something like, yeah, we maybe we could hang out again sometime. And she deleted his number.

3 – She sent a text that said, we’re hanging out this weekend. He responded quickly and they made plans a few days later. Results TBD.

4 – She sent a text after three dates with no response until after the weekend. He said he was busy with family, but she found out that he was actually with another girl he met the same night as her. Delete.

5  – I sent a couple texts suggesting times to meet after we had two great dates, but he was busy. He never offered up alternative dates, but continued to text everyday. After two weeks, I sent a text that let him know that if he wanted to hang out again, to let me know because I wasn’t going to ask anymore. I added a smiley face to make it less direct, but let’s be honest, I’m super direct. Radio silence for four days before he asked if I was at a street festival. I was. He was. And we’ve gone out a few times since then.

You never know what can happen, and sure you could end up eating alone, but wouldn’t you rather know that up front instead of missing out on other opportunities waiting for one that isn’t going to happen?



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Filed under: Selling Yourself

Tags: dating

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