As if people weren’t already embarrassed about online dating, then Tinder came along. And with it came the reputation of it being a hookup site, I assume because of the emphasis that is put on physical appearance when matching up with someone. You have the option to write a short bio, but not everyone does. I was reluctant to use it because it seemed like an app for people in their 20s. I heard about people going on dates with people when they travel somewhere for the weekend, which perpetuated the hookup rep. Since the app is location based, you can find people in whatever city you’re in even if you’re just passing through.
After several friends around my age told me that they use Tinder, I decided to give it a try on my 40th birthday. I was spending my birthday in Nashville, which my friends said was the perfect way to test out the app. Within minutes I was swiping all over the place. I was surprised at how many guys there were within my age range (38-45 years old). Even though the app doesn’t give you as much information as other sites, the pictures aren’t just about their looks … they tell a story. It just depends on the type of person you’re looking for …
The Guy Who:
– knows how to post five good photos
– is smiling and/or laughing
– looks really upset about something
– is flipping you the middle finger
– smoking and/or drinking
– took a selfie in the mirror at the gym, his bathroom or even a public bathroom
– posts lots of photos with kids, but then says he doesn’t have any
– has his dog (or cat) in every photo
– is doing something active
– took a selfie in the car where they almost always have their seat belts on
– is wearing a Halloween costume
– photoshopped a hockey mask over all of the photos
– only posts group photos with really good looking friends
– posted a before and after weight loss photo
– has multiple photos with his Grandma
– caught a really big fish
– is really far away in every photo
– is always wearing a hat, but is probably bald
In addition to photos and a small profile blurb, the app also tells you if you have mutual friends on Facebook. There are a few times that I would’ve skipped over a guy initially, but then I saw they were friends with someone awesome, which gives them a little more street cred. Over my 40 days on Tinder, I matched with 56 guys in five different cities. In comparison, I’ve only chatted with ten guys from Match.com in four months and only went on one date. I cancelled two others.
On Tinder, I’ve already gone on four first dates, and then cancelled two others after chatting with them more. Every date was fun and the guys were really nice. Of those four dates, I went on two more dates with one guy, and I rarely go on second dates, so the third date is usually the make-or-break date. On every date with him, he shared a story about another Tinder date he had gone on since the last time I saw him. Each time he told me that he liked me more than the most recent girl, which I think he meant it as a compliment. But now I have to tell him that he’s actually not winning the Tinder dating challenge on my end. What’s interesting about this guy, is he had a photo in his profile with a large tattoo. When I showed the photos to a friend she said she would never date a guy with a bad tattoo like this guy. You never know what someone will see in your photos. And while she turned out to be right about this guy, I’m glad I gave him a chance.
I have another third date with a guy planned for this weekend. If he makes it to a fourth, we’ll probably move in together! I also have two more first dates set up for this weekend in addition to a dozen other guys I’m chatting with to see if we want to meet up. It’s been a fun 40 days, so I’m excited to see what the next 40 have in store for me.
What are your perceptions about Tinder? For those who use it, what advice do you have for others? Comment below or tweet me @HitzAndMrs.