Being Beautiful On The Inside Is Nice, But The Outside Gets You Free Drinks

Last weekend, I introduced my friends to one of my beautiful friends. Not pretty. Beautiful. When she walked away, one girl said, “she looks familiar, she looks like someone”.  A few of us responded in unison, “She looks like Faith Hill”.  Beautiful.

A few days earlier, I read an article that said beautiful people get more breaks in life. I’ve laughed at episodes of “30 Rock” where Jon Hamm is that beautiful person.  I thought it was just funny.  I rolled my eyes when I first read the article. Lower mortgage rates? C’mon.  The author wrote, “Social scientists call this the “Halo Effect” linking intelligence and goodness to a  pretty face.”


But after hanging out again with Fake Faith Hill who has a beautiful face, I remembered how differently people have treated her when we’ve been out. For example, we walked up to the concession stand at a concert to check out the drink selection.  The guys in front of us overhead our conversation and turned around to give their two cents on what we should get, but once they turned around, they stopped talking and just handed her their beers.  They had two beers each, so she took two and then looked at us to grab the others.  They never took their eyes off of her, and looked disappointed that their other two beers would not be consumed by Fake Faith.

We walked by three sections to get to our seats, and she was stopped so many times that we just kept walking without her.  They had no interest in talking to us.  By the time we sat down, she’d collected four phone numbers and filled us in on the backstory of each of these groups (e.g. bachelor party, 30th birthday).

When we were waiting in line at a bar later that night to meet up with one of the groups, the bouncer saw her and let us jump the line right into the bar.  So needless to say, I’m going to hang out with her more, and definitely buy a condo with her so I can get those lower interest rates.  Who knows?  Maybe they’ll just give it to her for free.

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