Last week, I went for a drink with a guy friend who was in town for work. We were out with several of his friends and/or colleagues, but they only stayed for a little while. Soon, it came down to just three of us. Then, all of the sudden, my friend looks across the table and says, “You both are single. You should go to dinner.”
I took a drink. A really long drink.
“Definitely. What about tonight?” the guy next to me asked.
I’ve had friends put me in this situation before because they think because two people are single, they would never turn down a chance at a date. The difference is, those people are married. I cut them some slack because they haven’t been out in the dating world in quite some time. This friend, however, is always my wingman whenever we are together. We have shared numerous stories about friends putting us in situations just like this. Speechless.
But it happens. That’s one of the bumps that goes along with having tribes spread your message for you. In Seth Godin’s book, Tribes, he gives this definition.
“A tribe is a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader, and connected to an idea. For millions of years, human beings have been part of one tribe or another. A group needs only two things to be a tribe: a shared interest and a way to communicate.”
The single person is the “shared interest” and the “way to communicate” is the part I’m still working on. But I’m lucky that I have great people in my life looking out for me. Looking for those opportunities to introduce me to guys in hopes that one of them will be “the one”.
As part of my 52-Week Challenge, in addition to re-reading Tribes, I picked A Year of Blind Dates: A Single Girl’s Search for “The One” to read because it appears to match up with Godin’s advice, which is what every dating book seems to do. It’s all marketing to make a sale.
In A Year of Blind Dates, the author uses a matchmaker. This matchmaker was her “leader” and had ways to communicate to right channels to set her up on dates. So this month, I’m going to continue trusting my friends, and continue communicating in a way that increases my chances of being set up with someone who could be a good fit for me.
Chance meetings on my own, might not be the way to go, especially after the last two weekends. Both times, walking out of a bar. I started chatting with the guy who held the door, but away from the action my friends were talking to his.
“Wanna make out?” one asked my girl friend after 15 seconds into the conversation.
“Um, I don’t even know your name,” she replied.
“I’m (insert name here),” he said. “Wanna make out?”
He looked surprised when she said no.
This past weekend, I while I was enjoying my conversation with a trendy fella in a fedora, I looked over and saw his friend was groping my friend. So perhaps these two guys were actually pretty awesome, but I’ll never know because their friends (aka tribes) were communicating a completely different story.
My friends are amazing. I hope to find someone else who can say the same. Maybe we can all go to dinner.