The Dating Tip I Learned From Talking To Myself

This is the time of year when people usually reflect back on key moments from the last 12 months.  A few folks suggested I share my best and worst dates of 2013.  But today is another ChicagoNow Blogapalooz-Hour where we’re all writing about one thing we learned since we woke up today, and that ties in nicely to recap the year before sharing the knowledge bomb that was dropped on me tonight.

This was an easy topic to write about because I just got back from dinner with one of my closest friends.  She arranged the dinner so I could meet one of her other long-time friends.  She thought we would hit it off because we’re both single, never been married and in our late 30s.  I know, crazy to think that these two people exist, and live in the same city no less.

The only difference?  He’s a dude.  And yet, we shared a lot of the same philosophies when it comes to dating.  He referenced The Art of Charm podcasts that he’s listened to while I told him about all the marketing books I’ve read that have been interesting to apply to my dating life.

We agreed that when we meet new people, we just act like ourselves rather than playing it safe or being on our best behavior so we don’t scare of potential guys/girls. If I want to order a pulled pork sandwich on a first date or reveal that I went to the New Kids on the Block concert (and loved it), that’s what I’m going to do.  You can’t hide who you are for long so why bother pretending to be someone you’re not?

We talked about different ways you can figure out if someone is single without even talking to them and who the best wingmen are for getting attention.  We chatted about making something happen instead of waiting for someone to find you even if you’re not best looking person in the room.

And most importantly, we agreed that no matter what happens, don’t let fear of rejection keep you from trying again, even if it’s on national TV (thanks, Steve Harvey!).  Having people to support you when you’re taking chances is amazing, so meeting another person who looks back at their experiences and is happy about the choices they’ve made is refreshing.  We look back at what we’ve learned, and we also look back and laugh.  And laugh.  Wow, we both have pretty obnoxious laughs too.

So at this point you’re thinking, so what could you have possibly learned today from someone who is so similar to you?  What dating tip was different from anything else you’ve already heard?  He said, “Sometimes you need to play hard to get.”  While this might sound hypocritical after all this talk about being yourself and making things happen, but it’s not about playing games at all.  It’s about reading the situation and moving at a pace that is comfortable.  This guy got me thinking.  Thinking so much, I didn’t even have a response at first.

Instead of identifying a guy in the room, doing a little research and then starting a conversation with a guy, just give him a little smile and let them decide what the next move is.  Since chatting with strangers is second nature to us, we forget that not everyone moves at our speed.  Sometimes you just have to let people catch up.

Follow Hitz & Mrs on Twitter (@HitzAndMrs), Facebook or subscribe via email.  Or check out some of the short stories from my long dating life.

If you want to receive my latest blog posts as soon as they go live right in your In Box, please type your email address in the box below and click the “create subscription” button. It’s that easy! My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Leave a comment