What Happens When You're Not The Pretty One

A few years ago, I made a quick trip to the grocery store.  I had thrown on some sweatpants and a t-shirt to grab a few things where I ended up in line behind a guy I was sure I was meant to date.  But in that moment, and in that outfit, I didn’t have the confidence to even start a conversation.  It was that day when I decided I wasn’t going to let another opportunity pass me by.  If I’m going out of the house, I need to be ready for whoever may cross my path.

So on Thursday night, I met up with author, Jillian Conley, to talk writing and do some “research” (aka grab some drinks and people watch).   I knew she was headed to an event later that night, and since she is often styled by Akira there was no question she was going to out-dress me.  I tried to keep up.  Maybe next time!

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We sat right in front of the door, which is a great spot to see everyone, and also to be seen.  The bus boys were smitten.  Even our waitress was showering her with compliments. When she stepped away for a few minutes, the guys across the room flashed smiles my way, which I can only imagine was in hopes of meeting Jillian.

I’ve been the safe one before.  The guys who don’t have the nerve to approach the beautiful girl will start a conversation with me.  And I’m fine with that.  They can’t all talk to her at once.  There’s always someone left for me!  Well, assuming they are worth talking to.  While I was living in Oklahoma this past winter, we had a girls night where one of our friends left the bar a few minutes before us.  A guy who had been sitting nearby slid over to the chair next to me.

“I overheard you girls talking,” he said.  “Are you the one who is from St. Louis?”

“No, that was my friend who went home.”

“Oh, the pretty one?”

“Yes, she is pretty,” I said with a laugh.

“Well, I mean, not that you two are ugly.”

It’s not about what other people think.  It’s about how you feel about yourself.  If you can’t beat ’em, take their leftovers.  I’ve actually dated a few guys who were way out of my league because they were in a group who came over to talk to my friend, but in the process we ended up hitting it off.

There are also times that guys were too intimidated to talk to my pretty friends, like Jillian last week, so sometimes being average can produce extraordinary results.

Being around people personally or professionally who make you step up your game means you can accomplish things you never thought were possible, so my advice is to get all dressed up with everywhere to go.

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