In my very first post, I talked about two of my four Rs of Dating, Risk and Rejection. The more you put yourself out there, the easier it is to move on if it doesn’t work out. You don’t put a ton of pressure on every conversation or every date. Last weekend, I was out after the Cubs game and a dance floor broke out where the tables used to be. I saw a group of five guys and figured one of them had to be single. And that’s the first mistake of taking a risk. You need to also do the Research, the first R of Dating. If you want to set yourself up for the biggest chance for success, take the time to observe, or perhaps eavesdrop a little.
But in that moment, I danced my way over there, examined their left hands and grabbed the only one without a ring on. As I was surely impressing him with my dance moves, I stepped on my own foot. Hard.
To play it off I yelled over the music, “Why are you hanging out with all of those married guys?”
“This is my bachelor party,” he shouted back.
“Oh, thank God,” I said hobbling back over to my barstool with my friends.
Talking to randos doesn’t even phase me anymore. Smashing my own toe didn’t embarrass me. It actually sparked a conversation with the guy sitting next to me, and we chatted the rest of the night. Out of all the girls there, I had gotten his attention. Good or bad, I got it.
With my post on Monday about what happens when you’re not the pretty one, I was sharing that same message – don’t get caught up in what other people think of you on the outside. Everyone has an opinion, and it’s impossible to please everyone. They say, you just gotta be happy with yourself, but I do enjoy hearing how my friends describe me. These are people whose opinions do matter.
A few years ago, my friends were setting me up on dates like crazy. The first question the guy would always ask them was, “is she pretty?” This is where I rely on my friends to do the selling. Just like in the business world, the sales pitch is what convinces someone to try the product. So after hearing this question several times, they decided it would be easier to answer it if they compared me to a celebrity. Now they have to pick someone that the guy thinks is attractive, but they can’t pick someone who is outrageously beautiful because that just sets the bar too high. Like in all sales, you need to be realistic with your pitch.
After tossing a bunch of names around, they came to the conclusion that I don’t look like anyone. Really? You couldn’t find one brown-haired actress to compare me to? So we did what everyone does these days, we Googled it. We found a website that generates your celebrity twin, so they put my photo in and waited to see what matches came up. Hugh Grant. Hugh freaking Grant?!
I laughed. I still laugh about it. You can’t take life too seriously, and that goes for dating. Hugh taught me that. On first dates, I started sharing this story, which turned out to be an awesome ice breaker. When I tell someone I look like a dude, they of course laugh, but then they shower me with compliments because they feel so bad for me. But when they realize it doesn’t bother me, it takes the conversation to an amazingly-fun place. Nothing puts people more at ease than being able to make fun of yourself.
Who do people say you look like? Put your photo through the celebrity twin generator and comment below!
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