Here’s the biggest sign that the pandemic is over….. Lollapalooza is back!! All four days! Full attendance! The only restriction is you have to show proof that you’ve been vaccinated or that you passed a Covid test in the past twenty-four hours. How they’re going to enforce that, who knows, but it doesn’t matter because LOLLA IS BACK!!!
The news is going to be met with different reactions. Some folks will be overly excited and their first reaction will be ‘How can I get tickets for all four days.’ Some others will be totally opposite and their reaction is ‘Who cares. Not interested, never was, never will be.’ But then there’s the third group that’s on the fence. Maybe they’re looking at the artist list and thinking this is may be the time to go to the festival? Maybe they’re thinking this would be a good time to see what Lollapalooza is all about? If not now, when?
For those of you in the third group, I’m going to help you out. Here’s a few reasons why going to Lolla may not be for you:
Today is May 20. If you wake up, check the weather and bitch about it being too hot when the temperature is in the low 80s or whine about a fifty percent chance of rain, Lolla is not for you!
If you’re at the grocery store and need to use the bathroom, but decide to wait until you get home because their bathrooms aren’t clean enough, Lolla is not for you!
If you’re on public transportation and every seat is taken and you’re pissed that you may have to stand for ten minutes, Lolla is not for you! Btw, if you’re also pissed that the bus or train is too crowded, then Lolla is not for you!
Talking about public transportation, most of the crowd heading to the gig will be on pub trans, especially Metra. If you’re riding the train and most of the riders look like your grandchild, or even worse, you run into your grandchild, Lolla is not for you!
If you’re looking at the list of acts at the top and complain that you have heard of less than ten performers, Lolla is not for you.
If you look at the list of acts at the top, mention that you really like one of the performers but when asked about which songs you like and you can’t even fake the name of a single tune, Lolla is not for you!
Finally, if you’re checking out the performer list and you need to increase the size so you can read the bottom few lines, which features acts that there is no way in Hell that you know, Lolla is not for you!
I hope this list will help you in making your decision. See you at Lollapalooza…..YEAH, RIGHT!!
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