I finally made it inside a cannabis dispensary

I finally made it inside a cannabis dispensary

High from Chicago. It’s 2020. Recreational cannabis is now legal in Illinois. The law took effect on January 1st. Happy New Year! You could bring in the new decade by catching a buzz without fear of being arrested. The only problem was getting inside a dispensaary to buy some weed….and it was a big problem.

My first try was on New Year’s Day. Whether it’s baseball or marijuana, I like opening day. And like opening day at Wrigley Field, opening day at my local dispensary drew a crowd…a huge crowd. I knew it was going to be packed, but I figured if I waited until later in the day, the crowd may have thinned out. Maybe the stoners would have got their shit and been off to watch the Rose Bowl. No such luck. At 3 pm, there was still a line around the block. Security told me to come back the next day.

I did go back the next day. Same time, same place, same thing. I was told to come back at 6 am…that’s right SIX AM!!…and be prepared to wait for up to eight hours. There’s very little I’m going to wait eight hours for and it’s certainly not weed. I could wait a week or so.

When I did return ten or so days later, the lines were down to about four hours. Besides the wait, there was no guarantee that they would still have product. I decided I could wait a little longer to check it out. February wasn’t that far away.

A couple of weeks ago, I was running errands and passed by the dispensary. I didn’t see anyone waiting. No lines. Hmmm….maybe this was my lucky day?

I walked up to the door thinking I was going to cruise right inside….BUZZ! The security guard said that the line was now inside a restaurant across the street. Okay, I can walk one hundred feet to check it out. I get inside the restaurant and see the line. It looks manageable. I’m told the wait is only thirty minutes. One half hour!! That works for me. I can handle that. It looks like it might finally happen!

I’m handed a menu which tells you what they have for sale that day. There are all kinds of choices. Edibles, vapes, concentrates and good old fashioned rolled joints. The names are funky. Wana Mango Gummies. Island Lime Haze. Pineapple Express. It’s really no different than the olden days. Remember Maui Wowie? Acapulco Gold?

While I’m reading the menu, I notice the line isn’t moving all that fast. We’re past the half hour mark and closing in on sixty minutes. . By the time I make it to the front, the wait time is two hours. It’s nice that they have chairs. 

There was one good thing about the long wait time. I was able to talk with my neighbors and ask some questions. The guy in front of me was making his fourth trip here. He gave me some advice about the edibles. I admit that this scares me more than a little. I see dosages of two, five and twenty mgs. How much is too much? What amount sends you to the hospital? His advice is to take it slow and ask questions of the experts when we get inside.

Finally, it’s go time. Finally, we’re inside the building. This dispensary has one counter. The sales people are behind it and you have a short time to make your purchase. I guess that’s why they give you the menu, so you can figure out what you want before you get inside. It’s a lot different than the dispensary I went to in San Diego, California. That store was a lot more casual. You could walk around, chat with the workers and other customers. No rush, no hurry. Here, it was more of a wham bam thank you maam kind of experience. Be quick, be gone.

When I did get my chance to buy, the guy behind the counter did answer my question. I told him my apprehension about edible doses and he brought out the bag of picked berries gummies that you see in the photo at the top. Twenty pieces/2 mgs. each/$26. All of that worked for me.

I’d like to tell you more about the gummies, but I haven’t tried one yet. The bag has been sitting in my medicine cabinet for the last two weeks. I admit I’m still a little nervous about this, even at the lowest dosage. Maybe I’ll use it, maybe I won’t. I just like having it available, just in case. So that’s my story about my Chicago cannabis dispensary experience. While I’m not likely to be going back any time soon, at least I can say I’ve been there.

It’s too bad these gummies weren’t around in the Cheech and Chong heyday. Can you hear it now…..
No stems, no seeds that you don’t need. Picked berries gummies is bad ass weed.

Related Post I tried medical marijuana: Was it a health experiment or just wanting to get high?

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Filed under: humor, Marijuana, News, Satire

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