On Monday, our current FLOTUS, Melania Trump was hospitalized. She had a procedure to deal with a benign kidney condition. We’re told everything went well and that’s a good thing. Hey, just because she has bad taste in men is no reason to wish her harm. Supposedly, she’ll be home, and sadly by home, I mean the White House, in the next few days. That’ll be a good thing because she’ll get to be a mother again and take care of her young son, Barron.
But, today I started wondering….who has been taking care of Barron while Mom is gone? Some has to do that. You can’t leave a twelve year old boy alone, even in the White House. Can you?
Seems like a simple question and with most families the answer would be just as simple. The problem is nothing is simple in the bizarre, dysfunctional Trump family.
You’d think Dad could handle a week with a twelve year old boy, right? Look at the job he’s done with his other children and you know there’s no way Melania is letting Donnie be in charge with Barron. She might be okay with him leading the country but leading her only child…no way! Besides, he’s too busy playing Golf and Tweeting to take responsibility for his youngest.
Who is next on the list? How about his siblings?
Don Jr. already has five kids he doesn’t watch. BUZZ!!
Eric is busy running daddy’s business and his own charity into the ground. BUZZ
Ivanka is obliviously spending her time drinking champagne while more than 2000 people around her are getting killed and injured. BUZZ
Tiffany…hmmm…does this person actually exist? I hear she’s in law school but no one knows for sure. BUZZ!!!
Plus, do these people even acknowledge they have a twelve year old sibling? They are going to be no help at all.
So what is Don going to do about Barron? Hmmm….maybe he starts with a phone call?
Trump Sr: Hello Stormy. It’s Donald.
Okay, maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. Let’s try the office.
#45: Sarah? Sarah Huckabee Sanders? You know something about watching children. You have ten kids, right?
SHS: Ummmm…Mr. President, sir. It’s only three but what do you need?
#45: Melania is gone for a few days and I need someone to take care of Barron. Can you help?
SHS: Hmmm….I don’t know the answer to that right now. I’ll ask and get back to you.
#45: Okay but Sarah, do you have any other ideas about this?
SHS: Mr. President, it’s one question day here at the White House. I’m going to have to move on. Hey, Jim Acosta, do you have a question?
Sarah is no help but maybe our favorite White House Counselor can do her boss a solid?
Donald: Kellyanne, you know Melania is in the hospital and there’s no one to keep an eye on ummm…I forget his name. You know, that young boy. He doesn’t need a bed. He can sleep on your couch.
Kellyanne: Sorry sir. My husband George has been on the couch since he’s been Tweeting about you and the administration. If it can wait until we file the divorce papers, I’d be glad to help you out.
The remaining White House staff isn’t going to be any help because even a psychopath like Trump isn’t going to trust his kid to a bigger psychopath like Stephen Miller. There’s only one person left who can help. Back to the phone for one more late night call.
DT: Sean? Sean Hannity? It’s Donald Trump. You know, the President of the United States.
Hannity: Yes, Mr. President. I know who you are. We talk every day. What’s on your mind? Korea? Israel? Fake News?
DT: Sean, nothing like that. I need someone to watch the kid for a few days.
Hannity: Not a problem, sir. When will you be bringing him over.
DT: I can’t make it. I’m working on some special secret Tweets. The Secret Service will bring him by in the copter.
Hannity: That’s great, Mr. President. I look forward (hears a click from the other end of the call) Mr. President? Mr. President? Donald?
Phew! Someone wants to help out the child….Which led to this discussion:
Dad: Hey kid, pack your bags. Sleepover for a few days at Uncle Sean’s.
Barron: Oh man. I hate the Hannity’s. I thought I was going to the Muellers.
Dad: Shut up and get ready….and put on a suit.
Sigh….Melania get well soon. You son needs you…..bad!!
Related Post: I stalked Kellyanne Conway on Twitter.
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