Category: Doctors behaving badly

Burn: Fat-shamed by the midwife

Hey, girl! Tubbi McGrosserton over here! At your service to devour chocolate cakes and random things dipped in peanut butter! Who am I kidding, I’m here to inhale anything laying around. Socks? Jump ropes? Cucumbers? J/k, I’m not eating cucumbers because it would encroach on the precious digestive space where PANCAKES!!! dipped in PIZZA!!! rolled... Read more »

Thing you never want to hear your OBGYN say: "You're an interesting woman"

Do you get cranky when you’re hungry? How about hot? I was both of those things around 2:00 today because of some bafoonery at my OBGYN’s office. Apparently in this late, great year of 2013 they finally decided to succumb to the latest fad invention called “the computers” and input all patient files to digital... Read more »

Spiffing up dismal medical terms

"Acardiac Monster" is the real medical term for an undeveloped twin who has no neck or head. Mean, right? Supposedly it occurs in 1 in 40,000 births, which seems like a lot to me. That means 1 in 40,000 women have to look at their baby's medical papers and see the word "monster". Uncool, medical establishment. I say we focus on the positive and change this to Baby Feet Are Adorable Regardless syndrome.
The medical community needs me. I’m going to swoop in, plant flowers and take over all their bad medical terms so they sound more friendly. The bogus, out-dated diction of doctors needs a touch-up so they stop scaring people and making them feel like crap. I’ve got an ultrasound looming, but as my medical papers... Read more »

POLL: Should your doctor call you with lab results?

I went to my doctor’s office for a tetnus shot yesterday after gouging my foot on a steak knife (Darwin award!) and the nurse taking my vitals asked me if I had been taking my prescription. What prescription? Apparently when I came in for my last physical 17 months ago, an abnormal lab came back... Read more »

Doctors use rude acronyms to talk about you

The subject of the diagnosis of Down Syndrome babies came up over dinner last night with a couple-friend of ours. I recounted the tale of the scary first trimester screen with baby Stella and my secret nerves during the final pushes of labor. Since we had declined further testing, we had to be prepared for... Read more »