Archive for December 2014

Bullying: Girls, don't be smart AND pretty

I’m suddenly grateful I was so plain in middle school. A mom on a Chicago message board yesterday shared the story about her daughter’s living hell at the hands of North Shore middle school bullies. 12-year-old “Sarah*” is constantly told how ugly she is and that no one likes her. She has been told to... Read more »

Just STOP with the pink toys

One of my daughters just rejected a Harry Potter Christmas present on the basis it is “for boys”. WHY DID YOU BUY ME A BOY GAME?! she yelled. (To be fair, she is almost four and yells everything. GOOD NIGHT MOM! GOOD MORNING MOM! IT SMELLS LIKE DIRTY SOCKS IN THIS STORE, MOM.) With two... Read more »

This plan has no guarantee - I'm doing it anyway

You know how when something bad happens to you, like a log falls on your head or you lose your Starbucks card and everyone is like, “it’s for the best!” and “something better is just around the corner!” and you’re like, um, but what about now? Like, right now, when my husband is out of... Read more »

Mariah Carey is the queen of Christmas so SHUT UP

Some people, who are apparently hellbent on destroying Christmas forever, have leaked isolated, unedited vocals from Mariah Carey’s performance of All I Want For Christmas (IS YOooooU, BAY-BEE!) at the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. I’m not giving them the courtesy of a link because I don’t think you need to hear it. Stay permanently gift... Read more »

How to annoy your wife when you're suddenly home all day

I’m used to my husband working 70-hour weeks and due to some recent boolshit EXCITING LIFE SURPRISES we are now suddenly hanging out in the house together. All the time. The last time I spent this much time with him was our honeymoon and I remember thinking, “wow, I’m really getting to know this guy!”. Eight years... Read more »