School ban: No cartwheels on the playground!

After a student hurt her wrist on the playground, a school in Queensland, Austrailia has banned “unsupervised cartwheels”. Also included in the ban are handstands, cheerleading, gymnastics and fun of any kid. Just kidding. There is still plenty of fun to be had standing motionless during recess. Just play “statue”! Or “Lobotomy”! Don’t these kids know how to improvise?

The principle of the school explains that the ban is really meant to protect employees. Apparently the sue-happy culture of these here United States has spread like the Harlem Shake (copyright 2013) to the great down under. The school is more worried about its own ass than letting kids do kid-things.

I mean, I get banning something like head punching or that weird asphyxiation game that is all the rage. Ban skyscraper banana-eating all you want, school boards. When it comes to normal frolicking that carries a risk of nearly zero percent, maybe lay back on the ban hammer.

Let me think of how many cartwheels I performed or witnessed on the playgrounds of Indiana: Five thousand. Eleventy hundred, to be more scientific. Number of sprained wrists I witnessed between 1986-1998: okay, one. I also saw a kid barf after Teeny Corny day in the cafeteria, but where was the ban on nasty little hot dogs fried in cornbread?

I find it interesting that yet another school ban is targeting girls. First the yoga pants and now the type of playing traditionally done by girls. Despite serious risk of concussion, there is much hand-wringing over possible bans on football and yet exactly one lady child sprains her wrist doing a cartwheel and there’s a school ban on gymnastics? Seems fair.

First they took away our leggings and I said nothing because I do not wear leggings as pants. Then they took our cartwheels and I said nothing because I am too old and fat to do cartwheels. Then they took away my online shopping and there was no one left to defend me. – Abraham Lincoln.

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