Archive for June 2014

Embarrassing: I was pulled over with my kids in the car

When I was in my early 20’s, my mushy little brain got one degree firmer when I realized one day the way to stay out of trouble is to follow the rules. I had gotten a speeding ticket and it finally clicked with me that it wasn’t the cop’s fault or the road’s fault. It... Read more »

Ten types of belly button lint that WILL BLOW YOUR MIND!

Um, number one: regular belly button lint? Actually, I have no idea and, as you may have guessed, this isn’t going to be about your damn belly button, you adorable click bait-guppy. Sorry. Excuse me. That was rude. All I’m saying is maybe your belly button lint isn’t exactly that fascinating, and yet here you... Read more »

Is it rude to change a diaper in the locker room?

Our gym locker room is set up like a long, medium-quality toilet lounge that connects the pool to the rest of the fitness merriment. The facilities are better than prison, worse than Queen Elizabeth’s private powder chamber. So, it’s a normal gym. On non-religious holidays the place is infested with drain hair so dense and... Read more »

My favorite thing about my mother-in-law

I had them both work on each frame so they kind of shared ownership of them.
I’ve been really hung up about my mother-in-law’s raw deal with no-answer cancer, which I’ve discussed, oh, three days in a row now. You never get sick of me! I’m your internet lover bestie! So let’s talk about my favorite thing about her. She does things. Back in the way-back times of 2006 when we... Read more »

All the things that suck about cancer - a list!

Three times this week, the anniversary of losing one of our twins in utero, someone has randomly brought up the missing twin. These are nice people, all well-intended. One is a sweet little lady who reminds me of a pretty koala. She’s a friend-of-a-friend on Facebook and we happened to meet in person at a... Read more »

Crap justice alert: Felony for helping ducklings

A lady was convicted of “criminal” negligence in a Canadian court this week because she did something stoopid (but with a warm, fuzzy heart!). In 2010 Emma Czornobaj pulled her car over in the left lane of the highway to help some orphaned baby ducks who might need their pinafores tucked in or something, but... Read more »

Q&A with a ChicagoNow blogger: Divorce, Chicago Style

We’re doing a thing today at ChicagoNow where we all interview and write about each other. I drew a fun name out of the electronic hat. My person is Donna, who is Chicago-famous for her long, crazy divorce. It’s been going on for like 11 years now. Donna’s blog is called Divorce, Chicago Style. It’s... Read more »

Not All Dads

The daddy in our house has many talents. He can: – Salsa dance, kinda – Smoke those really gross cigarillos without gagging – Work our complex coffee machine. That thing is so annoying. It’s got like 30 buttons and they all just make coffee dust if I try it. He swoops in there like a... Read more »

Dear Congress: My kids should feel safe in school

I have a daughter starting kindergarten in the fall. As we picked out her purple butterfly backpack, we had to have The Talk. Well, the new talk. She’s scared enough as it is going to a new school with a new routine, but now we have to talk about what to do if (when?) someone... Read more »

What if Chicago shootings were treated like school shootings?

If you watched any national news today, swiped through social media or pick up a major newspaper tomorrow you’ll know about the lone gunman at an Oregon high school this morning who shot one student (and grazed the hip of a teacher). Events like this are becoming sadly more common, but the news/blog cycle will... Read more »