Sorry Michelle Duggar, YES married people can say NO to sex - UPDATED

Michelle Duggar is at it again with the life lessons. I know she has a popular world view among certain segments of society, but I myself happen to respectfully disagree on her stance that a wife must “always be available” when her husband wants sex. No one can have autonomy over another person’s body. It is not possible to “own” a human being in this way. Michelle, don’t you ever get a headache or want to watch another episode of Love It Or List It?

Michelle Duggar told the Today Show, “only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has” but what she fails to take into account is that a man’s “physical need” does not trump her physical and emotional state. I mean, what’s ole Jim Bob going to do if she says no?



Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt. Let’s say it’s a respectful agreement and Jim Bob doesn’t even ask if he senses his wife is sick or really into her Candy Crush game. Maybe always saying yes is actually under the condition he only approaches her if that answer is likely to be heartfelt. Fine. Maybe it even goes both ways and Jim Bob always has to say yes, too. Michelle, you minx!

Let’s get to the really bizarre part. Are you ready to be completely grossed out?

“it’s not all sexytime at the Duggars. They abstain when Michelle has her period, and also after childbirth: 80 days before sex if it’s a girl, 40 days after a boy.”

Hold up, wait. What? Why does the gender of the child have anything to do with the length of abstinence after childbirth? That detail should depend on the physical healing of the mother’s body and her comfort and willingness to get back in the swing. I mean, good on them for getting back in the groove. It is kind of like a bandaid you just have to rip off at some point but what of this bizarre gender-specific time frame? What else – a special gnome dances around a fire to guess the baby’s name? (Hint: it’s Jumplestintskin).

[UPDATE – I’ve been told this is mandated in the Bible in the book of Leviticus. It’s more of this “unclean woman” crap. Okay, now we’re so “unclean” we even dirty up our mother’s vaginas on the way out so they can’t have sex for 40 extra days than if we had been boys. I CAN’T EVEN. I’m serious, this is another example of blatant religious sexism. This isn’t serving God, it’s controlling women and stripping them of humanity. End update.]

What seems to be lacking in this piece of Duggar marital advice is the needs and desires of Michelle herself. Why is sex something only the man wants and the woman has to maintain a rule about accepting? It’s like she’s trying to act like she forces herself to do this distasteful thing only her husband wants. Enough with the martyr complex! Just admit both people can want it! (What if Michelle is ready before 80 days?) And both people can not want it. (Sorry, I have a hard time believing Jim Bob is that big of a stud). It’s a lot of pressure, either way.

Chill down, Duggars. You are human beings, not cartoons of a little lady frou humbling giving that dirty thing to her presiding lord husband (with the world’s worst peanut butter haircut). The other theory I have is they are trolling us all in a really freaky deek exhibitionist sex game. Today Show, you have made pawns of us.


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There’s a bang joke in here somewhere.


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