Archive for October 2013

Sometimes, you need to be told you're a red head

There are lots of disgusting things about life in the Age Of The Interwebz. Twitter trolls, cyber bullying. Selfies At Funerals. When I see young people doing stupid stuff publicly, like globally publicly, it’s easy to think, “I’m so glad smart phones weren’t around during my stupid days! Remember when we streaked? And took pictures?... Read more »

So, your toddler wants to wear blackface

I have a friend and I know you think it’s me, so go ahead and think it because my kid does stuff like this all the time. Kids are basically raw humans who go around revealing humanity’s innermost, universal embarrassing thoughts. “MOM, I maked poop because of the broccoli!” Etcetera. Anyway, my friend’s daughter has... Read more »

Gerber hassles small biz moms over "onesie"

Quick! What’s that thing that babies wear under their clothes? The thing that snaps at the crotch? You: “Um, a onesie.” Bingo! I mean, what else are we supposed to call it? Infant underwear body suit? Crotch-snapping baby catchall? Stain-Attracting Poop & Drool Catcher That Which Goes Under The Jammies (© HG&S)! Apparently we have to... Read more »

It's not Maria Kang's fault I'm fat

The latest flavor of Are You Mom Enough comes to us from Maria Kang, the now infamous “hot Facebook mom” who posted a picture of her smokin’ bod flanked by her three small children, including an infant, and the words that burned a hole through the internet this week, “What’s your excuse?”. Burn. Maybe I’m... Read more »

How to wait tables

Open scene: My husband is pausing from his meal at a little ‘hood place we’ve come to think of as “ours” to sip on something called an Angry Orchard. I take a giant bite of a fajita – the type of bite you don’t want anyone capturing on their cell phone and tagging you in... Read more »

The Duggars trying for 20th child - JUST STOP IT

Guess what, world? The Duggars revealed in an interview the other day that they are actively trying for a 20th baby. This is on the heels of delivering a stillborn, followed by delivering a micro-premie at the behest of doctors treating Michelle’s life-threatening blood pressure condition. If you’re the type to celebrate this baby news... Read more »

The awkward situation of hiring help

My day is invisible to my husband. He comes home at night and from his perspective, nothing has changed since he left this morning. I’m in my jams. The house is in order. The make-up, clothes and contacts went on and off again, the house was destroyed and rebuilt, the laundry was done and then... Read more »

Glamour pumpkins! I let my toddler use Benjamin Moore paint [PICS]

When we were at Target last week, the girls picked out this glitter kit. Whoops, I didn't notice the age requirement. Two years old plus four years old adds up to six, so we're nearly half way there, right?
While I was busy being not-small this morning (the midwife yelled at me to workout yesterday, it was awesome) one of my kids struck my weak spot. “Mom, let’s do a craft!” I freaking love crafts. “Mom, let’s vacuum” or “mom, make with the laundry” isn’t going to get me off the couch at eight... Read more »

Yes, a third child may ruin your life

In case you haven’t heard, moms are against moms, ya’ll. Today’s flavor comes to us from the latest Daily Mail controversy piece called, “The mother who says her unplanned third baby will wreck her perfect life,” because if a mother said it, pitchforks will be raised. The title goes on, “… and her dreams of... Read more »

Feel like a jerk pushing a huge CostCo cart? RELIEF AT LAST!

Every once in awhile, your house just gets low on supplies. Somehow we ran out of our drum of ketchup at the same time we needed a new case of milk and a fresh stockpile of cereal. Hi, we’re suburbanites now and do that thing were we get something we like and act like the... Read more »