Happy Mother's Day to me, times four

Guys, what’s a perfect day in Chicago? Ice cream by the lake? Thai food? Blue skies and valet parking? How about all of that and a successful “viability scan” (a term that should please die) of the surprise twins you’re carrying? This was me today! I will now accept a confetti reception.

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Thanks, you guys are really the best.

In case you haven’t been following my personal turmoil, a few months ago we found out we were unexpectantly pregnant (who doesn’t love that news, amirate?) and then that it’s twins. AND we spent about nine seconds conflicted about that twist before learning that Baby A (heretofore known as Squirt) was in jeopardy. Today we figured out just how little confidence our midwife had in Squirt’s survival when it was revealed she didn’t even bother scheduling us with the “real” ultrasound people for our appointment today. Noted. But guess what? In your face negative Nelly midwife because we saw that baby is still alive! Not only that, Squirt is an active little jumping bean who has followed his (her?) own growth curve and will be surviving after all.

So it’s official-official that I’m for realsies pregnant with twins, making me a mother of four this fall. Oh, I guess I should mention the other baby is now named Boss. That child is huge. Also, Boss isn’t getting much attention because I’m sure he or she will be fat and pink and loud like most of my babies, so s/he’ll blend right into the milleu.

Geez, can you hear how I’m talking? “Most of my babies?” I have so many I can divide them into categories and make generalizations. This house is like a one-stop gallup poll. How did I get here, people? How did I get so many cheeks to kiss and faces to love and diapers to change and tuitions to pay? (Do not answer that question with “you drank too much wine in February”.)

I heard a saying awhile back that if you’re depressed you’re living in the past and if you’re anxious you’re living in the future. The latter describes me. I’m always worried about the next thing and what to plan and how everything will work out. If there’s anything I learned in the past month of agonizing over Squirt (and Boss, sorry kid) it’s that I can’t control everything. I usually seek happiness by seizing what I can control, but in this case, I can only do my best. Today, I feel I did my best. My new efforts will be the effort of letting go, going with the flow and enjoying all the damn ice cream and sunshine I can fit into my life.

At least until November when I’ll be buried under diapers. Happily.

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Filed under: Twins for the Win

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