I had the most peaceful Christmas. It was all cherubic kids and Christmas Day snowfall. Sure, I got five hours sleep between Dec 24 – Dec 26 and my floors are still covered in glitter, but the gifts and food were amaze face (respective highlights: Zingo and egg rolls). For once, my holidays were easy and just focused on the good things in our lives. This Christmas was rad. It was like dark chocolate wrapped in colored lights wrapped in kittens.
And now it’s over. And I have the flu. Sad. Here is how we’ve been spending our post-holiday time:
1. Playing Zingo. It’s this board game like Bingo, but it’s called Zingo and uses pictures. We played this eight times in a row before the kids realized it was more fun to just stomp on the chips. While you’re playing you’re thinking, “this will never end” and as soon as it does, you’re like, “Crap! I have to clean this up!” and while you’re cleaning it up, they’re back to watching TV and you’re like, “PLAY WITH YOUR TOYS OR SANTA WILL CRY”. It’s very peaceful.
The upside is when Buh-Stell wins she goes, “zeen-doh!” Babies are the best.
2. Watching Hooked On Phonics. Aren’t I just the coolest mom? Not only do I make them watch nerd videos, I’ve convinced the big one that the program workbooks are “coloring books”. I should start calling broccoli “tree muffins”.
3. Taking down decorations. It’s sad to take down the tree after Christmas, but if you don’t do it, you’re looking at a floor covered in needles in exponential numbers the longer you wait. Also, it’s got to be a fire hazard to have a dried up old tree in your house, right? Or maybe I could leave it there a little longer and call it an Easter tree. Those exist. Maybe we can carve a jack-o-valentine while we’re at it.
4. Baking. My buddy Kim said if she stayed home with her kids full time, her whole family would be fat. “I’d just be like, ‘um, let’s make cookies again’. What else is there to do?” Not much. Which is why I made a chocolate cake today and ate half of it. Then I ate Thai food and drank beer. That’s how people get skinny, right?
Happy after-holidays, Internet.
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Filed under: Grinch the season