Archive for October 2012

Personhood: When will my kids realize I am a person?

When is my kid going to realize I’m a human? No seriously, when does that happen? There is lots of talk lately about personhood for our fetus friends, but where’s my personhood? This morning the little one crawled into my bed and fell asleep on my face. The drool trickling in my hair was a... Read more »

The suburbs are freaking me out

I’m a survivalist. It could be because I spent my last year of high school counting crinkled dollar bills to support myself, or maybe it was that week at Burning Man when I had to barter for water. Who knows, but I’d clean up on that Survivor show. When an elevator door closes and I’m... Read more »

Nick Jr.: The slow descent into the claws of an angry mob

Moms, you know you’ve been there. You finally stuff the kids into bed after a day of crumbs, cries and stamping out fires. You sink into the couch and zone out like a survivor. Ten minutes passes and you realize you’ve been watching Dora. Alone. This was me last night, but behold, it wasn’t Dora.... Read more »

Bullying: A year after Pottygate

Wow, I got some new readers lately! It’s not just me inflaming my trolls or having the odd success with murdering the Elf On The Shelf. We’re quite a family here. Welcome! Now is also the one year “anniversary” of sorts of something really crappy (a pun! stay with me!) that happened and now’s as... Read more »

The Internet makes us crappy people. An experiment.

Hello, sweet world! I’m back online after my big, controversial move out of the city. I’ve landed safely in the great ozarks known as the north shore and I’m eager to report my experience of being completely offline and without a phone or television for nearly a week. That’s right. I’m all “what’s a binder?”... Read more »

My political doodles? Sorry in advance.

Crap, I’m in the eye of the tornado with this move so I can’t talk long. In case you are interested in my personal tradition of doodling the candidates during presidential debates (my Kerry was kicking) I did have 15 seconds to whip up a little Biden and Ryan action last night between bites of... Read more »

The mushy side of being a landlord

Guys, I got a new job: Landlady. I thought I had this house sold a hundred times, but naw, in the end we had a few surprises and it came down to getting a renter. At first I kind of panicked about the situation. Will I have to field calls about party noises? What will... Read more »

Don't miss the dance show in your basement.

Sometimes tidbits of conversations sink in hours after I hear them. A few minutes ago I realized Bee had said, “we’re dancers and you and daddy are the audience!” as I was running up the stairs to some important task or another. Laundry? Words With Friends? I must have yelled back something like, “that’s nice”... Read more »

Could you donate your wedding dress?

Mommy, let’s donate your wedding dress so someone else can have their baby.” – My three-year-old We’re thirteen days away from moving, 38 boxes into the chore and have now made three trips to the Salvation Army drop-off. For that last task, we use those giant, industrial black bags that contractors use for discarded dry... Read more »