Hey jerk, my baby hates you

The baby and I have a little ritual every night. My older daughter is a feisty one who picks out edgy pajamas and decides when and where she will be affectionate, if ever. But the baby is just a little cuddle bug full of love at bed time. The poor thing. She probably knows she’s the second baby and thinks she has to be extra charming to earn her Cheerios in the morning.

The ritual we do is sing our two bed time songs and say our little (agnostic) prayer. Then we cuddle and kiss and act like a Pampers commercial before I plop her in her crib. She’s not to be a heard from again until . . . well, the crack of dawn, which isn’t so pleasant. But let’s focus on our comically blissful night routine.

Every night we do this. We sing, we cuddle, we pray, she sleeps.

Except tonight.

Tonight, I was in a dark mood. I couldn’t sing because I was crying. Did anyone die? Did the world end? Did my Kindle get smashed by a Republican? No. I was crying because an anonymous blog commenter said something mean on my Haus Frau post. (Which was admittedly a little lame, but I was operating on the good advice someone gave me to just hit “publish”.)

Mean commenters are nothing new to me. I’ve been called a cunt numerous times on Reddit and have been picked apart for my thin lips, fat arms and horrendous personality more times than I can count. I’m not the world’s most popular mommy blogger as exemplified by my mere 300 likes on Facebook despite my two years writing for Chicago Now. I get it. I’m not amazing.

But tonight, it crossed the line. It affected my family. That sweet little sunshine in the crib downstairs shouldn’t have to wonder why mommy didn’t sing tonight. Babies are precious and they are only small for such a blink of an eye. I’m mad at myself for missing it tonight and I’m to blame.

I could focus my anger on the commenter, but he or she won’t care. I have to take responsibility for the fact that in pursuit of my hobby, I’ve allowed my precious family to be affected. My sweet baby girl didn’t get her songs tonight and before you read me a riot about other kids who don’t have anything at all, I’ll tell you I’m all that matters to her. It matters if I’m upset.

So I’m done. I’m taking a break from this blog. Maybe a day, maybe a week. It’s not worth it. Good night. I’ll post if Martha Stewart invites me to share a jar of peanut butter.

Filed under: Fine Whine


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  • I'd say this is a well-deserved break after all you've faced here. We'll miss your ponderings and provocations (today? this week?) but those little snuggle bugs in cribs aren't like that very long and they should be first in line for what we have to give. I totally get it! When you come back, be a food blogger who tells mild stories and you won't get any comments at all!

  • In reply to Julie:

    Thank you. I think right now there is some extra sensitivity about SAHMs due to political conversations happening congruently with these posts.

    It pains me that the biggest supporters of my life choices are the Rebublican nominee family. Life, it is weird.

  • I've just caught up with your posts. Sorry that one comment has made you feel so bad, especially as the other 9 or 10 are so supportive.
    I could tell you how to react, what to think or what to ignore, but your reaction is yours alone and you have to do what you think is best.
    Having been on the receiving end of some fairly nasty comments, I know it can be quite shocking, but these people don't really care what they say, just that they can get a reaction. That's why they're not worth it.

  • I've read your blog for years and I lurve it. I hope that douchey commenter doesn't keep you away forever. And just remember, boring people don't have haters.

    ~sincerely, a former house frau who couldn't cut the mustard.

  • No reason for calling you a "cunt" any more than there is a reason that you think it's funny to attack Republicans for no reason at all.

  • In reply to publiusforum:

    There are no good reasons to call someone a cunt, yet many to attack republicans (which she wasn't doing in this post). Let's see what is a good reason this week? Ah yes, their war on women.

  • In reply to Patty J:

    Yes, it's always a "war on women".

    And meanwhile, women live far longer than men on average, men suffer 90%+ of all industrial and work-related accidents, maimings and deaths, men commit suicide at 3 or 4 times the rate of women and women are still living off men to the tune of 7 billion a year paid in alimony, for starters.

    If you want to talk war, my older brother was drafted and went to Vietnam.

    Calling everything a "war on women" shows just how comfy you are.

  • In reply to EnterNameHere:

    Oh, EnterNameHere, I recognize you. Those are the talking points of the Men's Rights Activists, the group that was named a hate group by the SPLC last month in an article that cited the incident with this blog in October.

    I'm actually comforted knowing it's just one of you and not the informed opinion of someone I respect. I feel much better!

  • You couldn't have said it better.

  • In reply to Patty J:

    The only "war on women" is being waged by the extremists of the far left... the Democrat Party... but I repeat myself.

  • A mean comment is made - that is basically true, but violates the principle of never, ever saying anything bad about a housewife - and a whole post is devoted to it. An outpouring of support equivalent to what would be received with the announcement of a terminal illness. The baby hates the mean jerk. The drama, the agony, the HUMANITY!

    Absolutely unreal.

  • I'm sorry. I know it's not good to dignify obnoxious remarks with a response.

    But publiusforum, as a fellow Republican I find your comment irrational and vulgar. I don't want to see that word in print gratuitously, and I don't ever want to see it justified. And no, using extremely vulgar words in ad hominem attacks is not equivalent to making political cracks, uninformed or otherwise. Living in Chicago you should be used to that by now! Get a thicker skin!

    And EnterNameHere, I know that you are not at home with children and you have never known anyone with a terminal illness, because with regard to the former you reveal only your ignorance and with regard to the latter you reveal only your inexperience with life and death matters.

  • In reply to Julie:

    I've got plenty of experience with life, Julie.

    This place, on the other hand, is a bunch of sit-at-home whiny women. Look at the reaction to a mean comment - lots of drama, even the baby gets in on the act.

  • In reply to EnterNameHere:

    Not life. Everyone alive has plenty of experience with that.
    Life and death. My point is, "announcements of terminal illness" are not something one flings around saracastically if one has heard, faced, or been through them.

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    In reply to Julie:

    Well said, Julie.

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    I have never posted on here, although I have read for years. I'd just like to say to "EnterNameHere" if this place is just a bunch of "sit-at-home whiny women"....what are you doing here? find something YOU like to read and move on...

  • The problem seems to be that you've had a bad experience and you think it's ok to generalize. I love this blog. I check it many times a day until I get to read a new post. Jenna is funny and I can commiserate with her. I work full time, and painfully miss my daughter while I am at work. Meanwhile, my husband gets to be home with her more and is more the one to want to get out of the house and might actually relate to some of Jenna's SAHM comments more then I do (he works, but has shorter hours then me and gets to be home more). I think our situation is becoming more common and your generalizations just don't apply in most situations.

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    donkon, why are you here? find something that you don't think is "made up for attention" and comment on that...isn't there a don't feed the trolls policy here? kind of like in the forest?

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