Archive for April 2012

I wanted to like acupuncture.

I forgot if I mentioned we were in a car accident in January. If you are wondering whether I survived, the answer is yes. Imaginary applause! It was a minor thing. To stamp out the last bit of whiplash, my chiropractor recommended a few sessions with a voodoo needle ninja an acupuncturist. Needles aren’t my favorite thing,... Read more »

The Jenkins Farm Project: A play so scary, I had to take a breather

Farms give me the creeps. Sure, modern farms populated with lots of apple-cheeked, adorable children singing songs about the heartland are jolly, but old farm houses give me the heebies for some reason. (Farm people to me: “You live in a neighborhood where cops have machine guns.” Touché, imaginary farm friends. Touché.) I don’t know... Read more »

Prom: Hey skeezy principals, quit policing whore dresses!

I’ve gotten several emails wanting to know my thoughts on all the prom attire in the media right now. You know, the God Bless Texana Dress and the girl who made hers out of hubcaps or some such.  Since soliciting my opinion flatters me, I’ll just go right ahead and spill my brain on a... Read more »

I got my first public school sneer today

It’s time to choose our path for another year of preschool. Wait. Perhaps I should warn you. I’m about to discuss preschool again, hippies, race and possibly money. Sharpen your daggers! Comb your troll hair! Unfurl your internet registries of those who offend you! Little Bee has been at a private preschool this year and it’s... Read more »

I inherited my mother-in-law's lingerie.

My mother-in-law surprised us with a visit early today and suggested she watch the kids while we go take a nap. Of course we leapt at this opportunity for “napping,” WINK WINK. No, forget the wink, I was up at 5:00 and had lived three lives by noon. As I was walking to the boudoir... Read more »

Groupon supports Chicago parks and Chicago kids

Hello Groupon, my old friend. I was stunned and excited to learn that Chicago’s own Groupon is supporting a not-for-profit that I’m affiliated with. This is mere coincidence of course, but it’s still crazy cool! Friends of the Parks and Groupon are teaming up to bring Chicago’s kids on nature field trips! From April 16-April... Read more »

Homeless to Harlaxton: Who do you want to be?

I used to say this story wasn’t for sale. My carefully constructed Stepford persona didn’t need any shadows. “Street cred is overrated.” Of course, I also used to say ka-ching! and that martinis were gross. *** My fellow Chicago Now blogger, Exavier Pope, is a successful attorney here in Chicago with a nice family. He’s... Read more »

"Swastika on the ballot": American Nazi Party lobbyist registers in Washington

File this under Scary. Also, Things People Are Not Sufficiently Outraged About. Apparently on Tuesday, a new Washington lobbyist registered under the American Nazi Party. That’s right, the Nazis now have a lobbyist in Washington. You know, the guys who openly hate Jews and gays? Wow. The lobbyist, John Bowles, a 2008 “other” party presidential... Read more »

Hey jerk, my baby hates you

The baby and I have a little ritual every night. My older daughter is a feisty one who picks out edgy pajamas and decides when and where she will be affectionate, if ever. But the baby is just a little cuddle bug full of love at bed time. The poor thing. She probably knows she’s... Read more »

A day in the life of a house frau

Hi, I’m in my yoga pants and a tank top drinking wine on my couch. Like every day. Niko seems to think this is abnormal, but he is clearly delusional. Hello, moms like to drink in their jams at home. Am I right? LADIES? Here is any given day for me: – “WAHHHHHH!” I roll... Read more »