Archive for March 2012

Mega Millions Lotto - Is $500 mil what you really want?

Tonight at 10:00 PM, someone’s life will change. Maybe yours! Potentially the largest single-winner lottery pot in human history (thank you Mega Millions PR) with a jackpot of over $540 million is up for grabs. But is winning always a good thing? Of course I bought a ticket and so did you, but I’m not... Read more »

Answer: What shoes does a mom wear to the city beach?

Last week it was time for my annual conundrum: What kind of shoe is a city mom supposed to wear in summer? Sure, five years ago when sweet freedom and tube tops allowed me to festoon my feet with whatever super cute thing went on sale, life was easy. I once walked eight city blocks... Read more »

Dara-Lynn Weiss: Vogue Mom will not have a fat kid!

My plan to get a book deal was going to be teaching my little girls the way to mix martinis and how to french inhale cigarettes, but apparently I have been one-upped by a one Dara-Lynn Weiss who not only (regretfully) shamed and humiliated her 7-year-old into losing 16 pounds by slapping hot chocolate out... Read more »

Single people, I do not want to meet for cocktails.

As I write this, a baby is screaming in my ear. I am covered in peanut butter. My eyelids are heavy half-moons that turn black when I blink. There are raisins on my floor. My preschooler has flung herself into a nap after an exhausting afternoon of things in this order: Battle Over Pants! Playgroup!... Read more »

How to decorate for a "puberty party"

Quick, call the caterer. I want two dozen lady fingers, roasted nuts, crabby crab cakes and tell the bartender to stock plenty of bloody mary mix, we’re going to have a hootenanny in 2022. Why are we partying you may ask? First, we never need a reason and second, Period Parties are all the rage.... Read more »

Heartwarming: Mom presses doc to look harder, heart defect found, life saved!

Lindsey and baby Elise before her Patent Ductus Arteriosis and Coarctation of the Aorta were detected.

Photo courtesy of Lisa On Location Photography.
Moms, we’ve all been there. My friend Lindsey took her sick baby to the pediatrician, the doc did a once-over and declared her healthy. Great. A co-pay and shuffled morning for nothing. Don’t you just want to tear your hair out when that happens? As Lindsey was turning to leave though, she stopped and asked,... Read more »

Kony founder Jason Russell: Naked meltdown, everyone being jerks

The co-founder of KONY 2012 apparently suffered from a Britney-level mental break and was arrested for drunkenly exposing himself in public last night. Oh, and of course TMZ has the video and it’s been making the rounds on not only gossip sites, but even feminist site Jezebel, where everyone is being a jerk. Since when... Read more »

A face for blogging, smashed spaghetti, I'm going to bed.

Let’s pretend for a moment it’s 2009 and the only people who read this blog are the handful of ladies who actually like me. Let’s act like we’re back on Blogspot and I don’t have hate groups or gun nuts waiting for an opportunity to call me a whore (I saw that Monday night, boys,... Read more »

"Mommy Porn": Worst Term Ever Invented. Ever. Please Stop.

A new genre of literature is hitting mainstream shelves -err, e-readers: Softcore BSDM novels. Apparently this is a “thing” beginning with 50 Shades Of Gray, the #1 New York Times best seller that targets the mommy demographic. Although I have not read it myself (COUGH! You know I will!) I snagged this bit of sample... Read more »

Down Syndrome "wrongful birth" suit is bad parenting, backlash uncalled for

As is being reported pretty much everywhere, a couple is was awarded $2.9M in a lawsuit against their hospital on the grounds of the “wrongful birth” of their child. They had prenatal testing done in the first trimester of the pregnancy, but a lab mistake falsely deemed their daughter to be chromosomally normal. She was... Read more »