Mean neighbor snitches on a mom's home business

A complaint was launched on EveryBlock yesterday that a Chicago neighbor had had enough with a woman on his block running a haircutting business out of her home. The problem is her clients are clogging up the street parking. They come in droves for home haircuts?

“The cars coming to her place is killing parking on our street. Isn’t there some rule about not running businesses out of a residence?”

Yes, technically home beauty parlors are illegal. But wow, this woman must be a ninja who can cut so many heads of hair at once that it causes a traffic problem. Why is this mom forced to earn a buck trimming hair in her jammies if she’s in such high demand that she, alone, can cause a rippling wave of parking displacement? Get this lady a gig at Mario Tricoci!

In my first apartment in the city I had a roommate who was a hairdresser. She used to have “hair cut day” for all the cute guys in our building. They’d all get a turn and after she was done, Jana would sweep the hair into one big pile that looked like Cousin It. I’d like to say she then swept the hair into the garbage, but in reality she just left it there for days. We didn’t have air conditioning, so the fans in our apartment swirled the hair around the room and into our coffee and bowls of cereal and into the fibers of our clothes. It was like living with 100 invisible cats. That is torture at the hands of a hairdresser in your building. Get tough.

Public advice for the troubled EveryBlock neighbor ranged from calling the Alderman to turning the mom in to the Chicago Police. For what? For making ends meet by offering hair cuts in her kitchen? For having to put up with one, maybe two cars at a time on a city block that surely houses hundreds of people?

Better solutions: Ask the home hairdresser to have her clients park elsewhere or give them parking passes or suggest the bus. Or ask to score yourself a free haircut in trade for putting up with the surely insufferable parking problem a single file of clients causes. There are better ways to side step problems than calling the po. They have bigger fish to fry anyway. Like potheads.

Wait. Steady stream of people “getting haircuts” in such a concentrated stream that parking is disrupted in the city? Maybe she’s cutting a little more than hair. Where’s my monocle?


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