Archive for December 2011

Here's why you don't remember Elian Gonzalez

On Easter morning, 2000, my friend and I were in a weird part of Berlin staying at a bed & breakfast of all things. Do you know what Germans eat for breakfast? Hard boiled eggs and cheese. It was interesting. Around midmorning we were packing to go back to School in England while watching German... Read more »

Hair: short or long? The perennial question

I caught a glimpse of myself in a shop window the other day and my first thought was Sam Kinison. Oh-OHHH! (I was wearing a beret, maybe you had to be there). What I’m trying to say is my hair was fried. I’m sure everyone has been laughing behind my back for weeks, or maybe thinking... Read more »

The selfish parents' guide to giving toys

Hello there! Is it December already and time to restock the playroom? Sorry, I was busy reading my vampire novels and worshiping Oprah*. So, what to get the little hooligans who live in your house . . . hmm. Or perhaps you ask, “what direction shall I point the grandparents as to avoid a house... Read more »

God is racist in Kentucky: Interracial couples banned from church

Looking to transport through time? Just hop in your car and travel to Pike County, Kentucky, where the segregation of yesteryear is getting a vibrant surge in the form of a church that has banned interracial couples. Thanks to a 9-6 vote from the congregation last month, interracial couples are prohibited from membership and worship... Read more »

My couch on Craig's List got game

A friend of mine was complaining all the guys on her dating site speak in Text  (us 2 outta hang! u in the city? Me 2! <3!)  and that they use way too many exclamations points, which is effeminate. Apparently dating sites are also full of man-children who shout things on the phone. Considering I... Read more »