Archive for December 2011

Just do good things! That's it! Also maybe shave your head. [CORRECTED]

Target is my mecca. You know this. I’m there like three times a week letting the kids burn off adrenaline┬áin the toy aisle and soaking up the free paper towels. Those are free, right? When I have “me time” (phrases that need to die!)┬áI choose to mosey the aisles solo during that fleeting hour between... Read more »

Kill the term "mommy blogger" please

Hi there, I’m a mother. I write a blog. I write a blog about topics that relate to parenting. What does that mean in the scope of the (groan) blogosphere? Oh, a mommy blog. Did you just fall asleep and reach to click on your email? WAIT! I also write about crime and couches and... Read more »

Ridiculous: Chicago dad facing child abuse charges

As you may have heard, a local Chicago dad, Andre Curry, was playing with his daughter and posted a picture to Facebook of her bound and gagged with duct tape. The photo went viral and he is now facing charges of child abuse and fines of $100,000 over what is clearly an event taken out... Read more »

Doctors use rude acronyms to talk about you

The subject of the diagnosis of Down Syndrome babies came up over dinner last night with a couple-friend of ours. I recounted the tale of the scary first trimester screen with baby Stella and my secret nerves during the final pushes of labor. Since we had declined further testing, we had to be prepared for... Read more »

Napping on the couch is disgusting.

The hubs and I are in a stand-off. The time has come for a new couch and after months of couch-shopping, we’re in a deadlock. He wants a big, poofy sectional so he can take naps and disappear into the furniture when I ask him to do things. And I want a stylie, prim and... Read more »

Lazy mom's Christmas unbirthday party

So what if I mailed three of these? It's still a party!
When my daughter turned two, it was a big deal. Big! We rented a play gym, did a whole Hungry Caterpillar thing with details down to her hand sewn dress and ridiculous cake that took me days to make. I’ll just dust my shoulder off and tell you I was a fabulous mom that year.... Read more »

Rude baby clothes: "I'm too cute to play with your ugly ass kid"

In baby fashion news, I’d like to present a children’s shirt that is hot off the runway*. Isn’t it classy: Aside from the oddly clashing fonts, bad colors and foul language it’s a real beaut! No, actually it’s still a pretty crummy shirt for a kid to wear. In this age of bullying, why would... Read more »

Facebook: Keep it G for the children?

I saw a Facebook status from a fellow mother the other day expressing outrage over R-rated status updates. The compliant went a little like this: I have small children who look over my shoulder when I’m online, so at least give me a warning or don’t post questionable pictures. This is shaky territory for me.... Read more »

Breastfeeding Blog Hop: Your boobs will be fine!

I think of baby-having as an arc. From the positive pregnancy test to weaning, the arc, for me, lasts just over a year and a half. It’s not an arc of all joy. To be brutally honest, it’s an arc of suffering. First you get the test and all that’s happening are two lines on... Read more »

In defense of insufferable matching sister dresses

I see you pulling out the shank eye because my kids are matching again. Maybe your mother made you wear the same outfit as your sister growing up and you hated it or maybe you were part of a 90’s girl band and are, like, so over coordinating get-ups. But let me tell you, my... Read more »