Archive for August 2011

The Disney machine is going to get you. Yes, you.

Hello, you*, in your post-feminist six-seater automobile, taking “time-off” from some kind of career to professionally churn out the next generation of achievers. You, the mother of little alpha females whom you are encouraging to pursue post-graduate degrees and vote left. You. Disney will get you too! Oh, you’re a modern lady who thinks 16-year-olds... Read more »

Frilly family photo dreams up in smoke.

I had tall plans for my Christmas card this year which, yes, I begin to execute in August with our annual family portrait. This is my first year with two baby girls whom I was planning to match in fabnormous stuplendor with ruffles up to their eyeballs and, clap, matching splendiffery for me. And a... Read more »

No, ladies, NEVER SUBMIT.

Lately women around the web have inspired a wave of pearl clutching by urging their fellow wives to submit to their husbands. Thanks Michelle Bachman! How novel. How downright quaint. Everything that is old is new again and what won’t we do for attention, right? Well guess what. Women submitting to a man, especially out... Read more »

Evansville, you ain't too shabby!

My home town is an odd bird. Driving through Evansville, you’ll see billboards with cherubic babies in clobbering anti-abortion ads and yet just under the surface exists a flourishing gay scene. You won’t see many non-white faces between the covers of Evansville Living Magazine and yet. AND YET! You will find a perfectly mixed and... Read more »

Life warnings for my babies: No home perms, et cetera

In college, my friend Kara told me to always tie my hair up in a hot tub because she had a friend (who had a friend, of course) whose long hair got caught in a jacuzzi jet and the girl was sucked under the water and drown. Scary, right? I was 19 when I heard... Read more »

Hi, I'm a hoarder.

Everything’s better with hot sauce – eggplant parmesan, tofu, pizza, popcorn. Fudge cake for some reason. So I considered just throwing a bunch of hot sauce on my guest room and closing the door. It was bad in there – clothes up to the ceiling,  clearance items I stocked up on (because when the debt... Read more »