Archive for April 2011

Royal cattiness - stuff your bra, Lady Kate!

Get some chicken cutlets into that bra, Dutchess Catherine! Like duh! I don’t know who told this girl cone boobs were in, but they were foul people indeed. I supposed since the horses were wearing Lady Gaga’s ponytail on their arses, it was only fitting that they take the Madonna inspiration theme all the way.... Read more »

Weird wedding tributes (Come, on, geek with me!)

Finger one: "Oh, hellooo! I'm a royal princess and my hair is STUPID AND BORING"      Finger two: "I was hot like five years ago but who cares since no one will be looking at me anyway."
While you’re busy acting like an emo teenager sulking in the car during a family party (or sleeping) I will be drinking the royal kool-aid tomorrow at 4:00 AM for the wedding of Wills & Kate! Hey. It’s a party and I can’t waity. Even if that party will just consist of me and my... Read more »

I thought there was only one Bible?

I guess file this under “duh”. Apparently there are 100’s of versions of the Bible. I don’t know what I was thinking – like every hotel in the world orders from the same link on Amazon. It turns out you can buy a different Bible for every day of the week – women’s Bibles, study... Read more »

Go on, feed your babies "beer pizza" - I did!

Ah, beer pizza. Put 3 cups of flour in a bowl, add a tablespoon of baking powder and pour in a fresh beer. Roll it out on a pan, top with sauce and cheese then bake on 425 for 25 minutes. Beer pizza! I’m a fancy lady who lifts her pinky when eating beer pizza,... Read more »

A school ban on brown bag lunches? YES PLEASE.

A school ban on brown bag lunches? YES PLEASE.
There is a shroud of controversy involving a Chicago public school that has a ban on lunches brought from students’ homes because the administration feels the nutrition is better from the school cafeteria. To this I have two words: Right on. It’s not that all school lunches are so fabulous. Hello, one trip through Googleland... Read more »

Hi, I'm the GOP! I love fetuses!

Hey homies! I’m your Republicans in congress today! I looove me some unwanted fetuses. (Feti? LOL!) Anyway. I’m totally willing to let families go without paychecks, which will mean they can’t feed their children in the next few weeks, because I can’t settle my ass about the budget. Sure, hospitals will be shut down and... Read more »

Shopping is a sport. Like professional boozing.

YES! I’m shaking. I won! I’m sweating, but I won and winning is what matters. It was an emotional rollercoaster but a combination of mental prowess and quick moves got me the victory in the end. Eat it, shoppers. She who plotted and stalked and pounced at the right moment after months of study was... Read more »

Nerd fitness! The Spreadsheet Diet

It is a little known fact about me that I love spreadsheets. I don’t know what it is about all that delicious data analysis, but for a generally unorganized person I do a lot of life-living on Excel. Well. Okay, these days I’m on the bootleg Google docs, but I feel I should be fully... Read more »

Retraction! I was wrong! BumbleRide I luvs you!

I am not a practical person (see aforementioned refrigerator vacuuming, flat shoe-wearing). If it were up to me, I’d paint everything hot red, eat nothing but cigarette smoke and coffee*, spend all my money on airfare and cute trench coats and wear heels to the beach. If I didn’t have my hubs looking after me,... Read more »