I’m really annoyed. What two-ton lady isn’t? With four of my Facebook friends due at the same time as me and yet being the ONLY pregnant one left standing (seriously, how did that happen?) I have even more reason to be a curmudgeon. It’s just as well she stays on board because I don’t have a name for her anyway. No name! For my baby!
Celebrities keep robbing me of my names. The latest? Minka Kelly. Okay, maybe her mother named her Minka in 1980 (fine, take her side) but “Minka” was MY idearr sprung from a name book months ago. Maybe a quick google told me a Minka Kelly existed, but her fame was lukewarm. So she had some middling film credits and brief walk-on roles. Who cares? Her given name is deliciously not in the top 1000 baby names per the Social Security Administration and boy is it sweet! Minka Minka Minka! I could say it all day!
Except today. It appears the celebrity news networks are all saying it for me because that drat Minka Kelly was just cast as one of the new Charlie’s Angels. Eff my life! Now she’ll catapult to real fame and “Minka” will be the new Jennifer. Fate, you are so rude.
Oh well. Minka was my back-up anyway. My frontrunner has been trod upon by bigger celebs and will be the Isabella of 2011. I truly have a gift, you know. I should write a book called Steer Clear Of Everything I Like, It Will Be Trendy.
Other things I like in case you want to blend in next year:
– The 50’s relic “Birdie” as a baby name, as well as other animal names
– Brown nail polish
– R-rated craft projects
– Dudes with chest hair
– Dressing like a mime (for reals, I’m in black from head to toe these days. I’m in a box! I’m climbing rope!)
Baby name ruiner Minka Kelly
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