Post holiday blog

Happy belated Thanksgiving to all!

It’s been a while since I last wrote, primarily because I was pretty sure we were entering the End of Days and did not want to risk working on a post, which would never get read due to a global conflagration.

However, here we are, so, here I am.

I decided to use this as an opportunity to shoot out a number of thoughts that having been in my head for several months now, lest they drive me insane.

1) So glad the election is over:

At the risk of losing both my readers, I have to say that I am truly happy Biden won, for the following reasons:

A) I sincerely believe if trump had won, there would have been riots galore.

B) Now that Trump is gone, comedy writers will actually have to start writing jokes, rather than making fun of what Trump had for lunch or how many deaths he is responsible for.

C) I honestly believe we are all ready to move on, and this will help us do that. Although, I think we should start a pool to guess how long it will be before Biden gets excoriated in the main stream media for something he does or does not do.

2) Covid-19:

The virus is still with us, and it has put us all in a really awkward situation.

With the holiday, I felt like the CDC was acting as our parents telling us to go to our room and not come out until they say so.

Then, we all collectively tied our bedsheets together and escaped out the window to have dinner with our friends and family.

THEN we got caught! And, boy, are we going to pay for it!

We are going to be spending all our free time raking up the Covid deaths that we caused, because we are so selfish and immature!

On the other hand, I sincerely believe that spending time with your loved ones, especially if everyone has been careful, produces a feeling of happiness, that in the long run, may be more beneficial to our health and well being than hiding under a rock.

3) The vaccine:

Yay, we have a vaccine!

Oh, it’s a NOVEL vaccine (hint: remember the NOVEL virus?)

The first vaccines that have come out are made from the messenger RNA of the virus. They are unique and seem to be highly effective.

When I first heard this, I started to rack my brain thinking about where I had heard something like this before.

After a week of rolling it over in my mind, it came to me!

The idea of viral genetic material getting into people is the plot of EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE EVER MADE!

Ha Ha! That’s hilarious.

Nevertheless, I will still get the vaccine when it eventually becomes available, because then I can enjoy eating brains with friends and family and it won’t be considered “weird”.

4) Christmas and New Year’s:

Well, given how poorly behaved we were at Thanks giving, I think the coal industry is going to have a stellar year providing Santa with all that coal!

And, for Hanukah, it’ll be eight days worth!

The only good news is there will be no New Years Eve parties, meaning I won’t have to fight to stay awake until midnight acting interested in meaningless conversation, while at the same time trying to walk that thin line between drunk and REALLY drunk.

I mean, I usually am awake at midnight anyway, because that’s when I enjoy my first of many pees.

I should see a urologist, but, you know, Covid.

Well, boys and girls, that’s all I have for now, but please keep this in mind:

Please wear a mask in stores.

Please wash your hands.

Please get your flu vaccine and the Covid vaccine when it’s available.

Let’s see if we can regain some semblance of normalcy in 2021 and put his dreck of a year behind us.

Until I see you again, if some idiot tries to tell you that the vaccination program is part of some conspiracy-STAY SKEPTICAL!

And also get that person out of your life.

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Filed under: Health Care

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